I was with my ex for two yrs, I broke up w him pretty badly, when I tried to apologize he wouldn't talk to me. A month and a half later he kind of came around only to tell me he had a new girlfriend. After that we agreed to be friends but he went back and forth from being a friend to wanting to get back together. He did a lot of drunk texting and calling. I know I was to blame because I always kept him at a distance and I apologized for that but I don't know where we stand now. I hurt him I know, but I did man up to that, where do I go from here, is there anywhere to go? Or am I just sh*t out of luck?
Most Helpful Girl
Honey, you are not to blame for all this misery. You had a bad time and handled it the best way you could. How is that your fault?
I think you are being entirely too hard on yourself, and shame on him for allowing you to take the blame. If he were a better man, he would understand that you weren't trying to hurt him, you were just dealing with some pain in your own way. Despite what many people think, we can't be perfect all the time and shouldn't have to apologize for that. You went through a rough patch, dealt with it in a way you had to - and after hearing your explanation, he should be a little more understanding. I don't even know you and it breaks my heart that you went through all that alone - even if it was by choice. Why doesn't he feel the same way?
Despite all that, I think you need to set some boundaries with him. It could be he isn't aware that he's being selfish - tugging you one way or another - but someone needs to make a choice and if he can't do it, you need to. Tell him to get in touch with you when he's completely sure about what he wants and in the meantime try to figure out why you are so susceptible to placing blame on yourself when it's evident that you did nothing wrong. You shouldn't be so quick to beat yourself up. You were dealing with a difficult situation.