Can I get a guy to forgive me after he was wronged? Please help

I was with my ex for two yrs, I broke up w him pretty badly, when I tried to apologize he wouldn't talk to me. A month and a half later he kind of came around only to tell me he had a new girlfriend. After that we agreed to be friends but he went back and forth from being a friend to wanting to get back together. He did a lot of drunk texting and calling. I know I was to blame because I always kept him at a distance and I apologized for that but I don't know where we stand now. I hurt him I know, but I did man up to that, where do I go from here, is there anywhere to go? Or am I just sh*t out of luck?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honey, you are not to blame for all this misery. You had a bad time and handled it the best way you could. How is that your fault?

    I think you are being entirely too hard on yourself, and shame on him for allowing you to take the blame. If he were a better man, he would understand that you weren't trying to hurt him, you were just dealing with some pain in your own way. Despite what many people think, we can't be perfect all the time and shouldn't have to apologize for that. You went through a rough patch, dealt with it in a way you had to - and after hearing your explanation, he should be a little more understanding. I don't even know you and it breaks my heart that you went through all that alone - even if it was by choice. Why doesn't he feel the same way?

    Despite all that, I think you need to set some boundaries with him. It could be he isn't aware that he's being selfish - tugging you one way or another - but someone needs to make a choice and if he can't do it, you need to. Tell him to get in touch with you when he's completely sure about what he wants and in the meantime try to figure out why you are so susceptible to placing blame on yourself when it's evident that you did nothing wrong. You shouldn't be so quick to beat yourself up. You were dealing with a difficult situation.

    Good luck.


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What Guys Said 4

  • He moved on, at that point I wouldn't fight for it back. You guys broke up for a reason.

    I do understand and respect that you don't understand what you had until you lost it- but you really can't tell me there isn't another person in this world for you- there is 6.5billion people in this world and its only getting bigger.

    You will be just fine without him, especially if he is playing head games of wanting to be together but not- wanting to move on but yet he still wants you- and the like of all the bullsh*t head games.

    I wish you luck~


    • Thank you Artistboy you make a lot of sense. I really needed some guy insight. I'm not going to argue with the other fish in the sea theory but I can't say that it's completely comforting. I need to work on myself before I step into a new relationship. I guess I just didn't want it to end badly. We were friends before we got serious and I just hoped that we could at least end it the same way.

    • Show All
    • I'm with Wado. I hate the whole "move on, there are tons of people in this world" line. It's true, sure, but there's a reason you fell for this ONE person. And they probably still have that quality that sets them apart from the 6.5 billion others.

    • Good, I like it when people express themselves and their thoughts ^_^.

      The argument is great, you have a good point about key characteristics setting people apart; however, how many times have you fallen for someone? Once...? Twice? ... I'm not saying that you will find someone that is the same - what I am saying is that you will find someone that matches your personality even closer than the last person.

      People are always learning,making people develop different traits which make us unique

  • Do you want to get back together or just want closure and forgiveness after what you did?

    If you just want closure and he's being difficult, you should give up. You apologized and if he can't handle it then it's his problem.

    If you want him back the power is totally in his hands. You broke up with him and hurt him badly. He could still be messed up by that even if he did move on. When you agreed to be friends, these feeling probably arose again and he struggled and was confused about what he wanted.

    The best way is to give it a little time if you haven't already, meet up with him and talk to him openly about everything. As direct questions about what he wants if anything from you.

  • Girl you are not out of luck , ok you broke up badly but that was in the past , the question is , is he still have this new Girlfriend , does he text when he is not drunk , if his coming back to you just to hurt you and run then you don’t need that because It might hurt you more and more just think twice before you do anything because the situation is so sensitive now , just give it a time don’t blame yourself for something in the past , and now you standing on ice if you move to much it might break up just don’t go on so fast and if you want him back just show him your love don’t say it “ SHOW IT” T.C

    • Thank you Wado I needed some guy insight. He had always gotten along really well. This was our first really fight, but I was more like me talking sh*t chasing him away. My dad was dying at the time and I was unstable so I pushed everyone away friends, him, family. I did want him to think I was weak. I know that was stupid but that how I am.

    • Sorry to know about your dad ,, but Really things will be better soon if you just show that you are sorry and also show him your love we all made mistakes but the biggest one is to do it again just try to fix it and men not as every one think tough and rough small emotion can move them to much and I think he loves you so things will be good soon T.C

  • Why not talk it out with him?


What Girls Said 2

  • you don't deserve a guy that finds it hard to choose between you and some other girl. Lose 'em honey, go find better

  • just say no. tell him you don't want to bbe lead on. asks him if he wants revenge. it sounds like he does. let him go as soon as he does something wrong. by the way, why did you break up with him?

    • I was going through some family problems, my father was dying and I couldn't handle the pressure my dad was giving me along with my everyday life. He wanted to be with me to comfort me, but I didn't want him to see me like that. I was afraid he would think I was weak, he would have seen me for what I am worth. I am usually a strong persons but during that time I broke. I tend to deal with all the family affairs because no one else will do it. So one day I just told him I didn't want him around.