What should I do to take "control" to avoid being played?

I met a guy online. We exchanged messages for a month before officially meeting this week.

We went for a drink followed by dinner. Chatted for three hours. When he asked me for another drink after dinner, I didn't go because it was late.

He texted me every day and asked me for a drink two days after we met for the first time. I couldn't go that day. That night, he was a bit drunk and texted me asking what rules I had and blah blah blah. I was trying to be honest so I told him I thought he's cute and would like to go out with him. He said he was so happy and called me up to say good night and stuff. Then I asked him whether he wanted to have a drink the next day. He said ok. But he texted me the next day saying he couldn't come due to work.

I thought he would ask me out during weekend but he didn't. Instead, he asked me to go out again next week on a weekday.

I think things changed after I told him I'm willing to go out with him.

What should I do to take "control" again to avoid being played I guess?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Overthinking mostly. Also, trying to take "control" of a relationship is a very good way of ending up played or lonely. If thats when you can go out, so be it. Don't put pressure on him to conform to your ways and schedule, doing that will only push him away.

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What Guys Said 1

  • mmm I don't know but maybe you are overreacting and he was really busy that day

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What Girls Said 3

  • You're gonna have to be clear with him about what you want and what you expect out of this. If your guts starts telling you that he's playing you at some point you confront him about it because if he likes you and wants to keep dating you which might lead to a relationship later on, he will not want you to feel played.

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  • You can't control the relationship, not everything is in your control and you have to accept that. Allow it to develop and be open to it or you can get annoyed about having no control over some things. Which one are you able to do?

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  • he doesn't seem like a player, so stay smart, get to know him, don't rush things, that way you will know if he's genuinly interested or just wants to play you

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