At what point does interest become stalking?

I just realized he sent me like I don't know 50+ unreplied messages on my old Kik. I hadn't been on there because I got a new phone and saw he texted me and was about to give him my new Kik and see if he wanted to hang and then I realized how many times he texted.

Do I just like... back away slowly lol? He knows where I live! And now he can see that I read them... do I respond or what?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Woah that's a lot of messages. Lol. Depends how long were you away from KIK? If it was only for a few hours then that's extreme. Do what you feel is right but I feel like if he was your boyfriend it could be worse than that. Since it shows you read it I think you should reply just so he doesn't feel like you abandoned him. Then tell him that you just want to be friends or something. At that point you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. I think over 50 messages is a lot. I could understand if it's been like 2 weeks though. Some people spam message.

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    • He's def not my bf. We've never been any kind of physical and im not really that interested. I've told him I'm okay with hanging out but nothing serious and he said he's okay with that

    • Oh wow then yeah over 50 messages is a lot. I'd move away from him slowly.

What Guys Said 5

  • At the point where you know where he/she lives to a T without him/her telling you lol

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  • Not sure on an exact formula for judging, but 50+ unreplied messages is definitely excessive. You could try telling him that he's coming on too strong and it's making you uncomfortable?

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    • Well he's always seemed a bit odd to me but I looked past it. Now this is just kinda... I'd rather not have contact with this person. But I don't want stuff to get weird either

    • If you don't respond at all it'll be even more weird and he'll keep holding onto hope that he can get you. Make it clear to him that you want to be left alone. Firm enough so that it's perfectly clear you're not interested, but gentle enough so that you minimize the hurt on his feelings.

      Something along the lines of "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested" but obviously elaborate a little more tailored to how you feel about him and the situation he's put you in.

  • Back away slowly, those 50+ message... you could ignore but if you want to give him a response tell him you got creepied out. Give him a firm response to stop any hope, he seems very desperate

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  • That's a little weird. It's not stalking so much as desperation, methinks.

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    • But, I mean, you're gorgeous.
      I can't necessarily blame the guy.

    • He seems lonely but I mean he's a good looking guy. But he's odd. And I think he likes me cuz I don't make him feel weird about that.

      And aww thanks not really :x!

    • Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are. For us weirdos, that acceptance is exceedingly rare. Especially from the opposite sex. Unfortunately, you seem to have stumbled across a clingy weirdo.

  • Depends how long u were without a phone but even over a week 50 is a little to much. I dont belive he is stalking u but def a needy type. Id tell him ese up turbo why rush?

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    • We'll see it's really casual. We've gone out like.. once. And I told him I didn't think it was gonna go anywhere but we could still hang out at least a little before I left town

What Girls Said 5

  • My friend was talking to this guy once, and he seemed nice. But as soon as she gave him her Facebook, he started messaging her like

    Hey :)

    and if she didn't respond in 5 minutes he'd go

    Hey :)

    and maybe she'd answer, and it was okay. But one time she woke up to about 100 or so messages like

    Hey :)
    Hey :)
    Hey :)
    Hey
    Hey
    Hey
    Hey
    hey
    hey
    hey
    hey
    why aren't you answering.
    Hey :)

    etc. lmao. And that is like, TERRIFYING, jesus CHRIST. She never spoke to him again. He still sends her messages now and again, just, Hey :) I think some guys give themselves away as being really pushy and borderline dangerous when they are given access to social media. I would not respond, I think. I don't think he'll come around to your house? I think you'll be okay, just ignore him!

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  • He is thirsty as fuck!!! Yeah he's unstable. A normal person would have shown some restraint. He has no boundaries. Did he think with each message he sent it was gonna force u to reply back faster? I would just ignore and block

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  • He seems needy not necessarily stalking... Stalking is when he starts following you and taking pictures and the like.

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  • Just ignore the fact that you saw his old messages

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  • Stalking is when he starts harrassing you... at the moment he doesn't have any reason to believe that you dont want him to contact you. If you are uncomfortable you have to let him know - if his behaviour continues after that then it is stalking. Of course you can be stalked by a stranger - but someone who is unknown to you would have no reason to believe that you would want them to follow you to your house or secretly look up your details to send you messages.

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    • I was using the word stalking very lightly. You know like when you say "I'm stalking your fb"

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