He doesn't like when I hang with guy friends? Help?

well my bf of 3 month doesn't really like when I'm out with friends. he worries I have more fun with them & he just gets sad and moody when I mention going out with one of my guy friends to just catchup
I know he is insecure bc he had told me but just simple reassurance doesn't help him in the long run. & it isn't fair that I let him hang with his girl friend who I don't like and yet he gets insecure when I hang with my guy friends (who I have known longer than my bf and its all totally platonic)
what do I do? it's not too noticeable at the moment to where it causes problems so I can't just casually bring it up but I wonder if I may be doing something to butcher his self esteem more


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Most Helpful Girl

  • ... It isn't fair that I let him hang with his girl friend...
    I am sure you have heard "What's good for the goose, should be good for the gander" here, dear, and with you Both thinking it's okay to be with 'guy friends' or even a 'girl friend,' is showing me that being you are supposedly In this so-called 'Relationship,' it will go South real quick, go dead in the water, no matter how much 'Longer' you have known your bud or even how much you give your 'Simple reassurance' on your own end.
    Two wrongs do not make a right. Nor do they make two birds of a feather who end up sticking together in a love nest. You both need to get on the same stick to page as to what compromise you can come to Or... I promise you that before you can count Jack Rabbits, this will end up going down a beaten bunny path and end up to be a War of the Roses.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 1

  • What you are experiencing is called a double standard. It's okay for him to do something, but not for you. I would tell you that you two need to have a serious chat about this, and you need to put your foot down and say that he either needs to trust you, or you guys need to split up. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but people with trust issues often don't get over them, despite your best efforts, believe you me. I have had more than one relationship where I was not trusted. It will only get worse over time. Next will come snooping around on your phone and email, and fabricating fantastical stories about who he thinks you're doing what with, and it will snowball into you two ripping each others throats out.

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What Girls Said 1

  • There's clearly a double standard going on here and that's no good. What's okay for him should be okay for you too. You two at the very least need to talk about things and come to an agreement that's fair for both of you. Be very careful with this guy though. The insecurity & moodiness are very bad signs. Things like this typically get worse as the relationship progresses so if you see that happening, you'd be better off going your separate ways.

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