Is it right for me to break up with a girl because of her past?

These past 3 weeks have been amazing with this girl. We have fun and deep conversations, share a lot of the same values, and are even interested in the same hobbies. The other day, however, she shared with me a piece of information about her past sex life that has really bothered me. Personally, I am a virgin and would like to remain that way until after marriage. This girl has only slept with one other man, which she really regrets. By all means, this does not mean that she is a bad person, but for some reason, I cannot shake this part of her past. It hurts me on the inside that someone else was there before me. I am considering ending things here before we go any deeper, but at the same time, I care for her a lot. Any advice would be appreciated.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's normal to feel upset about not being able to be someone's first if they were to be your first as well and you really like them. I would feel that way if I found out my crush was with other girls before me but if he did like me then I would have to realize that the past girls are irrelevant now. I understand this insecurity, it seems as if we overthink virginity nowadays. One of my friend lost it a couple months ago to a friend just for the hell of it so she would stop being insecure about being a 20 year old virgin. If you and this girl really enjoy each other than it would be horrible to let something like that go. You two seem to have good chemistry and hopefully you will be able to look past her previous sex experiences, she said she regrets it anyway. If she stopped liking you cause you are a virgin then she's not worth it anyway.

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    • Thanks for actually offering good advice. It's refreshing compared to the other posts. :)

    • You're welcome :) nice to know I was able to help. You're not wrong to feel that way I don't think it's abnormal at all.

What Girls Said 5

  • One man before you and you are this upset? Look people are messed up in one way or another and this near virgin girl really likes you. Don't be silly enough to let her go. You could very well end up with a completely fucked in the head girl instead. Sheesh...

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  • If you have an emotional connection then you shouldn't focus on her not being a virgin. It doesn't make her less of a person. Sometimes the best person for you is the one who has something in their past that you don't exactly like yet that's what makes them perfect.

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    • I know that she is still a great person. Again, I understand how trivial my worries are, but would your SO's past sex life not bother you at all?

    • No because we all have a dark sexual history. Honestly I started seeing someone before I found out I was pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant, I was 3 months and I knew that my ex was my baby's dad. I was honestly scared to tell the guy I had started seeing because of all the problems I was having with my baby's dad. And I completely avoided him for a couple of weeks. He's been there more for me since the day he found out and basically took a role of a fatherly figure when her biological dad didn't want to. We've agreed to just stay friends till after my pregnancy is over because I need to focus on my daughter first. But he's my best friend and one of the most amazing people I've ever met. I know about his past sex life and he knows about mine, and it doesn't bother us because it's in the past and it's part of who we are.

  • don't be an idiot, breaking up it's not a good idea. she isn't a worthless person just because she lost her virginity. as long as she is fine with waiting until marriage, it shouldn't bother you.

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  • Really bad idea. She seems great.

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  • Haha, you must have one hell of a massive ego to pull that off. But good job, cause she doesn't deserve someone who cares more about her virginity than herself as a person.

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What Guys Said 4

  • So if you weren't a virgin anymore every girl you met would not want to date you? Break up with her just because she isn't a virgin is the stupidest, most conceded idiotic thing I have ever heard. You idiots and your freaking desire to remain virgin until marriage does nothing but cause problem like this. You need to get over self. Attitudes like yours really piss me off.

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    • I'm sorry that I made you upset. Perhaps virginity is not as important to you as it is to me, but thanks for at least trying to empathize with my position. I will take your advice to heart, however. Thank you.

  • No its not right , unless you're 16 or younger I'm afraid to say in this day and age you most likely won't be the first there. If you gel with her and you like her who gives a fuck its not like she's been with loads of other guys its only 1 you should count yourself lucky!

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    • I suppose I'm still naive and just expect everything to be perfect.

    • I know what you mean which is why as I say you're pretty lucky in this day and age that you can go out with a girl who's only had 1 other partner. If you get on with her and like her then don't even sweat it! :)

  • she didn't share your idea of saving it, it's not her fault. doesn't make her flawed. and only one guy is nothing anyway. it'll be hard finding someone exactly like you nowadays ya know

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  • Oh my god. How about instead of worrying about what she did in the past, which isn't NEARLY as bad as you make it seem, you create a memorable future?

    Actually fuck that she's probably better off without some whiny pussy like you.

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