When to tell someone about an std?

I have had herpes for about a year now. I haven't dated anyone since finding out, and I've been really lonely. The thing that worries me the most about dating is telling the other person about it. Should I tell them right away so they don't get attached for nothing? Or should I wait to see if there is chemistry between us? I feel like waiting would just be leading them on.
I would use the medicine and protection to do whatever I could to protect them if they were ok with it.

Updates:
I don't need advice on whether or not to say anything. Obviously I am going to. The question is when.
So I should tell them on the first date? And I have no idea how to even begin that conversation. It is terrifying.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you feel like this person is someone you really connect with and can see it leading to a committed relationship, I would suggest telling them ASAP. If you dont see it going anywhere, and dont plan on sleeping with them, I would say it's on a need to know basis.
    Currently I'm dating a guy with a non-curable STD, the day I met him we clicked. And by our first date we felt like we knew each other longer than just three days. On our date, he came clean and explained what he had and while we're still not officially boyfriend/girlfriend, it's made wanting to be with him a bit less nerve wracking because he was so upfront with me. Anyways I hope that helps.

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    • That does help. At least it gives me a little hope that it can work with someone out there.

    • Yea. Just be open with communicating with them. It will just make it easier for both parties to understand what is going on emotionally. ^^

What Guys Said 4

  • I think you should tell them during the course of dating and even if you was to do something sexually with that person. At least your being honest about it and willing to tell the other person about it. I think that is good because a lot of people are not honest.

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  • you should.

    if you get someone sick, you can actually get charged for it criminally.

    but the truth is, most will end the relatinoship. i would... i dont have casual sex for the same reason

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  • Right away.

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  • as soon as possible

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What Girls Said 1

  • Be very upfront and tell them about it at the same time you ask about their sexual health. About 1 out of 6 Americans have herpes as well. Maybe you can try connecting with a support group and seeing if you feel more comfortable dating in that situation?

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