My gf made a mistake at a bar one night. What do I do?

We have been dating for 4 months now. Yesterday she broke down and told me about her night at a bar. I took her to the bar and dropped her off because I was sick. She went and got shitface. I picked her up and we went back to my place for the night... this was a few weeks ago.
Yesterday she broke down and told me that she kissed a guy at the bar that night. She said that she knew him from highschool but never talked to him or even has her number. She said that he was buying her drinks that night. She said she was sorry, I accepted her apology. I'm still kinda wondering what happened, like was it just a kiss, did she make out with the guy, what? I don't know. Girls, if you say you kissed a guy at a bar what does that mean?

Did I do the right thing?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Break up. Two mistakes happened here. First, yes the kiss, second - she never should have gone to the bar without you. If you are sick she should have stayed with you. Because she went to the bar without you that means the bar is worth more to her than you are and this is only proven because she kissed this other guy that night. Since you two are still somewhat new in the relationship, she should still be head-over-heels excited about being with you, super happy new stage in your relationship. That should have easily overpowered any desire to kiss this other guy. For her to kiss this guy, "from high school" means you simply aren't that high on her list of priorities or important things or her thoughts. I think she kissed this guy because she isn't totally into you. I think you should kick her to the curb and move on. Good luck!

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    • She went bc I told her to go. I said I would go with Her but I felt really sick that night. She really wanted to go so I told her that she should and she did.

    • Yes, you tested her and she failed.

What Girls Said 8

  • Honestly, I don't think you did the right thing. I would have dumped her on the spot. She cheated on you. It doesn't matter that she was drunk and it doesn't matter if it was a peck on the lips or a complete makeout session, what she did was wrong and shows that she has absolutely no respect for you or your relationship. This is something that would definitely bug me forever, and I wouldn't be able to trust her again if I were you.

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  • What kind of a person goes alone at a bar - if they're attached?
    What exactly was the purpose of that bar visit?

    To hook up with someone. She obviously did that.

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  • She most likely made out with him but even if it had been just a tiny kiss, I'd still break up. I have no time for cheaters. If someone does it one time, they can do it again. If I was you, I'd dump her... obviously you don't have to. If you feel comfortable staying with her and you trust that she won't do it again, go ahead, stay and try to fix things. Talk to her and tell her you wanna know the details of that night. But I'd break up.

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  • being drunk isn't an excuse and if I ever hear that excuse again I'm gonna kick somebody

    You shouldve left her. but its your relationship.

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  • It's means she made out with him sorry. Alcohol is no excuse to cheat I never believe that lie. If I get totally drunk the only person I go home to is my bf.

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  • In a relationship two things are paramount communication and trust. she broke one which is trust but she did d right thing to tell u dats communication. now in trust u also find forgiveness so if I where u will forgive her with a warning nt to repeat it again. cuz in life we r nt perfect nt even u. I bet if u where in her shoes u did do d same

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  • Yes! She loves enough that she couldn't keep the secret. Let her know that if this happens again you guys can't be together but this time its okay. Be gentil so she would feel comfortable telling u anything

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    • Lmao if she loved him, she wouldn't have kissed another dude.

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    • fuck that, things just dont happen. everything is a pre curser of things to come! because of a pasive mentality, people ask her my bf keeps cheating etc ...

      leave and save yourself the heartbreak i say

    • She probably was drunk and he left at the bar alone what do expect

  • She made out with him... move on.

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What Guys Said 13

  • I don't know man, I'd wonder if it was more than just a kiss and even if it was just a kiss it's still a betrayal. For me whether or not I'd forgive her would depend on how emotional invested I was in her and if I truly believed she's telling the truth about it being just a kiss.

    also ask this question and think about it very carefully.

    If the roles were reversed and you were the one who had kissed someone at a bar, would she forgive you and welcome you back with open arms or would she kick your ass to the curb?

    think about that, hey maybe even ask her that. See what she says :/

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  • I personally would just call it quits.
    Y'all have only been dating for 4 months, and this shit is going to eat at you forever.

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  • It's just a kiss man, don't even waste time thinking about it anymore. The best thing you could do is not give a shit, she broke down and got all emotional because she hoped you would get emotional as well (I hope you didn't).

    You can still have a successful relationship with this girl if you play your cards right.

    I have a question though? Do you love this girl?

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  • Give her one more chance. I don't agree with people like @lumos (in general, she doesn't rub me the right way, but that's a different discussion) that if one cheats once, they will cheat again. Yes, they may do it again, but if they do, then just break up with her then. She told you. Reward her for honesty.

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    • Actually @truthbeknown changes my opinion. The fact that she went to the bar when you were sick is the straw that breaks the camel's back. Break up. She doesn't have a big enough heart.

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    • I think it's just his way of flirting @lumos

    • @Xonen knows what's up! Yeah, I am totally nursing this huge crush on you @lumos :D

      lol I don't think so... but as a side-note I will say that typically in general when I overly hate on or bash someone at first, after a while I end up becoming a follower of them and/or start getting along with them.

  • Alcohol is no excuse.. Find someone new.

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  • use your head dude

    by your description it's obvious that she made out with the guy

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  • She totally made out with him.

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  • If you know what you're doing, it's not a mistake. DONT YOU DARE CALL THESE THINGS MISTAKES! She made a choice, now she must live with the consequences. Dump he immediately.

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  • Pay attention to her life style. if she does this bar drinking often eventually it will happen again and then the same excuse comes up that it was an accident. then again i dont know this girl im just assuming she likes the party life. i mean only 4 months in and already kissing another dude, alchohol is no excuse for the kiss her own free will pushed her to do that.

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    • Yeah that was really her first time out at a bar shitfaced... I don't know. I'm gonna give her a second chance.

  • What do you do? Easy. You make a ''mistake'' with her sister/bff/mother, tell her after a few weeks have gone by. Then dump her on the spot.

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  • leave her.

    this is early signs of how her weak her boundaries are.

    i get shitfaced being in relationships all the time and it never made me cheat.

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  • It wasn't just a kiss, bro, or she wouldn't be crying. If you want to continue with her, cool, just demand a paternity test if she ever gets pregnant.

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  • She means she made out with him

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