Do guys pay on the 1st date?

I'm wondering if it's just me being unlucky or if men really feel no need to pay on the first date. But my experience was really bad. My bill alone came to $9 and he didn't pay for me. His came to $26. He also didn't offer me any of his food even though I offered him some of mine and I had far less to offer. The waitress forgot to bill me for my food so essentially the $9 was for a drink and he didn't pay. Another time a guy took me to mcdonalds on the first date... and didn't pay, lmao! Is this normal in todays dating world or is it just me? And i'm not ugly.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i do. always.

    even the 2nd.

    but i know girls take advantage of this tradition so i m really picky with who i ask out. too picky...

    i hate feeling like i m paying for their time because i have so much to offer but nothing worse than being "that guy"

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What Guys Said 17

  • I'll buy her a cup of coffee and wait to see if she sticks around before going to dinner dates. Since I moved into a new area and had to use online dating I got to see how cold women are about using men and protected myself from being used by keeping dates cheap while still trying to make a decent impression.

    So now I won't do dinner on a first date since there are women who literally dine and dash on men and the guys think the girl is interested yet she drops off the face of the planet.

    Doing coffee dates I have actually been offered a cup by a date before actually. It is a nice gesture on their part. Plus if I pay for them and they disappear, it is only 2 bucks.

    It is important for guys to protect themselves from gold diggers who are only interested in free meals.

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    • Yea I agree to cheaper dates when online dating. The coffee idea is good.

    • I'm the same.

    • @ allstardude this guy would actually pay a few dollars for his date, from what you wrote, you wouldn't do that. I know girls who date for free dinners, but essentially what the opinion owner is saying is that he'd pay for a date, but a cheap date just to be safe. You wouldn't pay $9 on me...

  • It's expected for the man to pay, but it's not like he's obliged to, but not even offering to share? Doesn't sound like a gentleman

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  • There hasn't been a time that I haven't.
    I'm pretty old fashioned.

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  • Women should at least offer to pay for half or her portion. Otherwise, it seems that women just want a Sugar Daddy.

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  • I have paid for almost every first date I've been on.

    I have also known women who have confessed they offer to pay for the first date and are pissed when the guy says "go ahead."

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  • I always pay. Mcdonalds? Loser. And he can't pay for that? Geez

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  • I always pay for my girl... no matter what

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    • A true gentleman, awesome! 👍

    • At least there are men like you left in the world. Being a gentleman will never get old.

  • Hhahah, Mcdonalds as a first date. LOL, what were that guy thinking. No, it's surely just you that have been unlucky. Usually it's us that should pay for all the meals at the first dates so we can show you how kind we are. ;) and that would ehm, ehm, maybe make our chance bigger to get in a relationship with you guys. :P

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    • The mcdonalds was a whole different guy all together, lol. I should've clarified that.

  • If she'll let me pay, yeah. Sure as heck won't be taking her to McD's. :p

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    • To whoever downvoted, are you opposed to gentlemanly conduct or do you just really really like McD's? 😋

  • Paying for the first date is an outdated concept. It was started back before women were allowed into the work force. Equality also means you carry your own weight.

    I see no reason why a girl I hardly know yet should be able to eat on my dime.

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    • If you ask someone out for dinner a a date you should offer to pay. Same deal applies if the woman asks him out.

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    • @allstarsdude How charming you must be.

    • Being a gentleman is never outdated.

  • all that "men have to pay" shit is really old gender-role nonsense. don´t expect him to pay. if you offer him something and he doesn´t offer anything back it´s bad though.

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  • I always pay, I think the guy should always pay

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  • I'd offer food, but I wouldn't pay for the date unless I have a strong feeling that it went well and I really like the girl. If she's earning, I don't see any reason why she can't pay?

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    • Thanks for the downvotes girls :)
      I'm not expecting best answer, but I do find your expectations quite entertaining.

    • I half agree with ya. I agree that if you have asked her out then you are maybe not obligated to pay, but I would have done it. At least on the 1. date. It would only seem weird if she were going to pay for something I wanted with her. :/

    • @Lonelywolf21 Give it a few years and then you'll really figure out the male-female social dynamics. You my friend, are what people would term a beta male.
      Trust me on this.. the best dates aren't where you try and impress, but where you try and get to know each other in a comfortable environment. Some of the most successful stories originated from dates that didn't involve any money. If you like the girl and have a great feeling, then go ahead and pay for her if you feel like it. But just remember, just because you ask a girl out and pay for her doesn't mean it's honourable - you'd be kidding yourself, esp if she cuts you off after the first date, or just friendzoned you and knows she can get a free meal off you.

  • Yes of cource I would pay for her it look like u was unlucky lol

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  • 2015 pay your own way or step up and pay for him?

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  • We should always be the one to pay.

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  • Have a job? Pay for your own food. Not the 1950s anymore.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Guys are not required to pay for you on your first date. It is gentlemanly of them to, but they aren't required. I will think much more highly of a guy who offers to pay for my meal though, because he is being generous. I don't *expect* it though.
    Personally I like to old fashioned idea of the man wooing the woman, trying to "win her over", being chivalrous, and courting her. But that's just me.

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    • I agree with you, and I wouldn't automatically count a guy out for not paying, but it's unattractive to me

  • If the guy asks the girl out, then he should pay for the first date, I'l still offer to pay for my half but I feel that it should be the askers responsibility.

    By the way, I've asked guys out with the full intention of paying for them.

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    • I'd pay for a guy too, I have actually. And one guy (who I knew very very well) actually didn't want me to pay for him at all. I had to convince him. But I think if going into the date, a girl is willing to pay for a guy and he ends up going dutch, it's a bad look for the guy. Girls being chivalrous i think is a treat. A guy who isn't chivalrous comes off as being cheap and less attractive to a girl who would readily take out her check book to pay.

    • Yeah, that's very true

  • You're going out with losers nothing to do with you. A gentleman with good manners would pay.

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  • I once pay for the first date 🙊 and the other times when i offered to pay... guys didn't like it, i think guys like to pay on the first date 😊
    There are guys who like going dutch on every date 🙊

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  • Yeesh. :(
    In my experience they do, but maybe you come off strong-willed? I have an older sister who is fiercely independent and hates for anyone to pay for her things, and that strongly comes across in her attitude, so no one offers to pay for her.

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  • What does "I'm not ugly" have to do with your question?

    If he's asking you out then yes he should pay.

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    • I put the ugly comment b/c I judge men based on how they look when they go on a first date and I expect them to judge me since it shows that you care to dress up for the date. I got dressed up put on makeup, etc, and put in effort. I personally think that if a girl gets dolled up like that and you can't even buy her a drink then that's really bad. by the way he came straight from work (personal trainer... that's a really bad thing to me that he didn't go home and change and he had time).

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    • i think the fact that you think $9 is high maintenance is hilarious. Do you understand that that's $9? lol. Point is, it's selfish. by the way, I came to this guys job to meet him so he didn't have to come all the way to me (and I took public transit). I also compromised cuz he wanted to change plans to suit him, and he's liked me for 2 years, and I was ready waiting for 3 hours, til he changed plans and I still went, and I looked damn good and he looked a mess. If he couldn't pay $9 for my drink after all that, he's a loser. If you can't pay $9 for a stranger, boy or girl, you're not worth dating in my opinion.

    • @allstarsdude nah I would say that's the same. because at that time you have made a relationship. noone would go on a mall on the 1 date. but if you ask a girl out, then i mean you are obligated to pay for it. it's not like she would go there if it weren't for that you asked her out. that's why I think you are obligated to pay for her. at least at 1 date. but not when you are shopping as a couple together. if you were to live together, yes then I could pay for her since we are living together. but other than that, no I wouldn't pay her for her clothes she have picked. ^^

  • I believe you should always offer just to be polite but he should pay. I've never paid on a date and my bf would look annoyed if I even offered him money. A gentlemen would never make you pay that's what I think especially in the beginning.

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  • It would be the first and only date of it were me.

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    • do you date more that one person at a time?

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    • as i presumed. a man can waste a lot of money paying for dates while a decent women can save a shit load of money dating different men weekly meeting them online

      its almost buisness like and women are tempted if they aren't already taking advantage of this

    • I think men should still pay, but how about only dating a girl you actually connect with than just a stranger? You can face time, call, text for a while to make sure you like her then date. (If you just met her and ask her out then suck it up an pay for dinner though since you asked). You can start with a cheap date, but I think you should still pay first date, it isn't outdated in my opinion. I think going dutch is good, and her paying after a few dates is good too, but it's important to pay first date at least.

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