Has the damage been done?

I had sex for the first time on Saturday, and due to the fact that he and I live pretty far from one another, I mainly communicate via text with him. For some reason I feel that when we did it, it wasn't as emotional for him as it was for me. Anyway, I feel like I came off as extremely clingy this week, as expected after a first time (having started all the conversations, but what does that matter anyway? And almost skipping out on a competition to see him.) So I decided to take a step back, and of course he didn't speak to me - I wasn't expecting him to, so this doesn't really hurt me or surprise me. I know that I made a good choice in backing off, but my question is has the damage been done? Did I scare him away already and completely blow it although I realized my mistake?


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • He wanted sex, he got it. Doubt you'll get anything else from him. Just learn from the experience.

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    • I do not think that nearly enough information has been presented to justify jumping to that conclusion

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    • Unfortunately, this is a legitimate possibility.

    • He was fine a couple days ago is the thing - as in after the whole ordeal but before I got really attached. We've made plans for things that are a long time from now, but I get if those become obsolete after what happened. I'm just confused as to how he could go from being genuinely interested in me to just wanting me for sex - since I hadn't implied I was willing until it actually happened, anyway.

  • Here's what I have learned: a guy is programmed to chase girls. This ensures that they will talk to you endlessly up until the moment they 'get lucky'. Afterwards, they don't have a 'need' to talk to you. Mission is already accomplished. (Until a few days later when the next 'chase' starts.) Girls are the exact opposite. We don't worry as much about chasing them as we do about 'keeping' them. It's not a possessive thing; it's a biological thing. Historically, after mating with men, we wanted to keep them around to provide food and shelter for us and our/their prospective offspring. So they want to talk before but don't care as much about after; for us it's quite the opposite. We care less about the before and MORE about the after. It's been driving both men and women crazy for centuries!

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    • that's why they invented marriage, and why sex is SUPPOSED to happen in marriage. To avoid this shit :$

    • I think what happens "historically" influences us only if we actually follow and perpetuate the same mechanics. We have a choice to follow a different path.

    • @LostWolf you are correct; but getting married doesn't change anything. A woman still gets hurt and upset that having sex with a man doesn't draw him closer to her likes she wants it to. Just because he is her husband doesn't make him any easier to understand! Lol

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