Will not treating girls well lead to them being more attracted to me?

I don't believe in being nice to get with anybody and I don't believe I should be put in that category I'm. I try to help everyone I and see the good in people first. A lot of girls ask me for help and I help them because I want to. I have no alterior motive, but I feel like doing this turns her off in a dating since. I feel like I'm being evaluated wrong. Women sort of control how guys will act because they do the accepting and rejecting so why would girls facilitate them being treated badly by them themselves. A lot guys just start acting like assholes but I don't feel like that's me. I feel like dating is so fucked up. Is helping and being generally kind hurting my chances? or is it something else. I'm not any of the nice guy stareotyoes like not confident or manipulative. I think it's really messed up that's it's fround with girls to be good guy and supported to be an asshole

Updates:
Girls you say this but y'all either don't know what you want or don't practice what you preach because bad guys always seem more attractive in girls eyes.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A good guy will find marraige.
    A bad guy will find a one night stand.
    If you're looking for somewhere to put your dick, then act like one.
    If you're looking for someone to be in a relationship with then don't act badly to them or they'll never want you in the same way (if at all)

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What Girls Said 11

  • Will not treating girls well lead to them being more attracted to me?
    Most likely it will lead to gals with self-esteem/self-worth issues being more attracted to you. There are seemingly plenty of such gals around so you'll probably have more 'success' with gals. Number game wise it's much easier to attract troubled gals than be attractive/appealing to untroubled gals as what is attractive/appealing will vary from gal to gal then they'll factor in compatibility and dealbreakers.

    Is helping and being generally kind hurting my chances?
    Most likely it's not. More likely it's also not helping your chances qs being helpful/nice is often an expected default. It's not a quality seemingly most gals go looking for since it's expected. I find most guys incorrectly think they will be found more appealing or get bonus points for being nice. What will help/hurt your chances is your attractiveness, how interesting you are, how fun it is to be around you, and your wealth/status.

    "I feel like I'm being evaluated wrong. "
    How do you feel you're being evaluated? What are you being evaluated for if you supposedly don't have ulterior motives for being nice?

    "Women sort of control how guys will act because they do the accepting and rejecting so why would girls facilitate them being treated badly by them themselves."
    I find this 'Women sort of control how guys will act' notion bs considering gals accept/reject various types of guys so there is seemingly no general consensus of male behavior.

    Plus I find most guys will ignore what gals say/do/want in favor for what another male says gals say/do/want. I've known plenty of gals who try to help a guy out romantically and their advice was ignored in favor of another guy telling him to be an a-hole. The gals advice synced directly to what they've done as they've all had relationships with guys they tried to turn the help seeking guy into. Yet still the old 'women don't know what they want'/'women don'tdo what they say' bs was touted.

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    • Girls don't know what they are talking about with dating they don't know what they want so that's why we listen to guys. Generally my guy friends say treat them bad and it will work I'm just not like that. I don't expect being kind will help chances at all but It seems being kind shouldn't hurt your chances that's absolutely crazy. I said I was being evaluated wrong because girls can't see I'm a great guy and it may be my fault but they see other guys as great guys by virtue of them being assholes I'm not hating but things seem backwards.

    • "Girls don't know what they are talking about with dating they don't know what they want so that's why we listen to guys. "
      So you're completely dismissing the scenario where gals stated what they wanted and had bfs that were such trying to help a guy out? Gals do know what they want however what guys seemingly often overlook is what one gal wants may differ from another gal.

      "Generally my guy friends say treat them bad and it will work I'm just not like that. "
      So you're completely dismissing it'll work because there are lots of gals with issues and it's easier to get such gals?

      "I said I was being evaluated wrong because girls can't see I'm a great guy"
      So you were lying when you said you don't have ulterior motives for being nice? Perhaps you're not a great guy for being nice so they can see you as a great guy.

      "I'm not hating but things seem backwards."
      In my opinion it's likely backwards if you overlook gals are individuals or you think you are oh so better than other guys.

  • If you end up not treating girls well then it will just end up in them leaving you. No girl wants to put up with a guy that treats her like dirt or treats her like a dog. And I have been there before and I know how it feels. Its like getting chewed up and spit out. I would never stay with someone that treated me badly, I would leave in seconds.

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  • If a guy treated me badly, I would not be interested in him.

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  • Maybe look for girls who are more mature

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  • No, I would think you're a douche

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    • Yeah I'm a completely fucking douche I wear wife beaters and sunglasses at night

  • I mean to men and they try harder to please me

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  • ya OF COURSE my fist would be WAYY more attracted to your face

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  • No. It won't.

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  • NO, if a guy treated me like shit I would start to hate him and ignore him.

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  • I hate bad guys. But I see what you're saying. There are several girls who date guys who treat them like crap, do bad things, and are just in it for the "benefits" I guess, and most of the time those relationships last only a little bit. My boyfriend isn't like this at all. He's a really good person, and I like that. And we've been dating for longer than anyone in our grade. (As far as I know) Any girl who is worth your time will enjoy your kindness and really love you. Being a "bad boy" isn't a necessity that you have to use to get girls.

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  • If you see a girl with a jerk, it may be because he started out very nice and gradually got meaner. Almost like that frog in hot water analogy.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Well, as a guy who really likes and believes in kindness myself, I've been alone almost my entire life. I don't know if being gentle has lead to my loneliness, but there does seem to be a strong correlation. My theory, and it's just a theory, is that the girls like mean men who are nice only to them, which means if you're nice right away then they know you're nice to everyone and lose interest, or, it's some sort of Beta instinct they don't like to acknowledge and want to be bossed around by an Alpha. This latter theory, is extremely unpopular so I wouldn't go sharing it on places like the internet... Also, it's probably not true, probably. Hopefully you get girl answers to this that are more helpful. All I can really say is "me too."

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  • Only if you look around to identify girls with low self esteem. They're likely to accept it. Others not.

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  • are you serious? they will avoid you EVEN more

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  • Girls don't want nice guys at all... they want what guys who act like they aren't interested and don't appreciate nice guys

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  • they'll probably be falling over themselves to get to you honestly

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  • This will only work on girls with low self esteem and no respect for themselves.

    Do you really want these types of women?

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