Rejected a girl because she was unattractive?

Ever since I rejected this girl, I've been tormented by her friends so much. This girl had a crush on me, however I did not like her back because I found her extremely unattractive. She was disgusting to look at and I felt I had to be honest with her if she ever asked. Then one day she did in fact ask me out, and I told her the truth that I was not interested due to how grotesquely unattractive she was and I recommended some cosmetics for her, yeah I said that. Then she walks away like as if she was about to have an outburst. Then all her friends have been attacking me ever since and it's got me very angry. So yeah I don't think anyone would date someone so horribly deformed and I wish that bitch didn't ask me out in the first place this drama would never have happened. So yeah, how can I stop this drama? What do I do now?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No one should feel like they have to date someone they aren't attracted to so in that sense, you aren't wrong. However, just because you aren't attracted to her doesn't mean you have to be an asshole to her.

    You could have just said, "I'm sorry but I'm not interested" and left it at that. But instead, you chose to be a jerk so now you just have to deal with the so-called "drama."

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What Girls Said 15

  • Bite the bullet. Maybe if you hadn't been a bitch to her, her friends wouldn't have attacked you. This is called a "consequence".

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  • Well, you can reject a girl because you don't think she's attractive, but you don't have to say it so harshly to her. You damaged her confidence level completely. She might never ask a guy out again because of this.
    You could have said to her "you're not my type" which is true, because she might be someone else's type. Someone else could have found her extremely attractive.
    Not cool man. You just made a girl cry and might have damaged her forever.

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    • Oh by the way, the drama probably won't stop. I would apologize to her though. You don't have to say she's pretty or something, but you could say "I'm sorry I acted like a douche. I'm sure you'll find a nice guy someday. *insert compliment about personality*". It might bring the drama down a little, but not guaranteed. I'll give you a Dutch expression for this. "Op elk potje past een dekseltje", translated "on every jar fits a lid". They mean that everyone is able to find love someway.

  • Obviously you have the rights to date whoever you want to but did you had to be so unncessarily, brutally honest? I would have left it with an ''I'm not interested''. Yes, you are a jerk. I would say the same about a woman that does that too.

    I once found a guy very unattractive with a case of severe acne but at least I rejected him with an ''I like you as a friend and don't want a relationship''. He understood and yes was sad but at least, I didn't humiliate him. No one deserves that.

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  • There's a way to let someone down nicely.

    That's not the way you fuckin did it. They're being immature, but you were (and probably still are, lets be honest) a piece of shit for the way you supposedly worded your rejection of her.

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  • Well its the whole way you went about this, who are you to tell another human being. They disgust you. She may be visually unappealing but you my friend are internally unappealing and that makes you just as ugly if not more. For that poor girl to have courage to ask you out and then not only get shot down but humiliated as well must have been so hurtful. You should honestly be ashamed of yourself. Looks aren't everything and yea while there obviously has to be some level of attraction with those we are interested in, inner beauty always shines through. But I have be a feeling your light has been out for quite some time.

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  • You owe no one nothing. You don't have to go out with her. You're allowed to not find her attractive. However you didn't have to be a douche and be insulting about it. Apologize for being insulting and then let it be, maybe they'll leave you alone then.. That's my advice.

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  • It's not bad that you didn't want to date her because you didn't find her attractive but it does make you a jerk for suggesting cosmetics. Like seriously? That was so unnecessary.

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  • You didn't have to be such an asshole about it. You're getting what you deserve. Now deal with it.

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  • It's good that you were honest with her. I don't think you can stop the drama. You'll just have to wait it out. Right now, hang with friends and try not to think about it. If you bump into her by chance, act friendly and interested in her not as a romantic interest but a concerned friend.

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    • Oh lol wait and you shouldn't have insulted her when rejecting her. You're already letting turning her advance down and insulting her. Wouldn't you be hurt too? In that case, I think it would be best to ask for her forgiveness about everything you said about her looks and be genuine about it.

  • If you had simply said, no thank you I'm not interested, that is being honest. I pity any woman who marries you in the future.

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  • RUDE!!!
    !!!

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  • You were a dick. You could have just said no but you had to tell her she was ugly etc. You're a horrible human being.

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  • Polite "no" would have worked well.

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  • All you had to do was tell her no. It's fine if you don't want to date someone you're not attracted to. It's not fair to either you or her, but why be harsh with her. If you said no, and she wanted to know why, you could just tell her you're not physically attracted to her. Sometimes I get guys who I am not attracted to who ask me out, and I just say no. I don't see the point in hurting them. Rejection already sucks as it is, but why make them feel even worse? I got asked out by an overweight guy that I found ugly, and I told him no. I was not mean to him at all about it even when he persisted.

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  • You couldn't have been more kinder about it? I hope it happens to u one so that u understand the pain u caused.

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What Guys Said 20

  • You could have just told her you weren't interested and left it there. Unfortunately, you pretty much deserve the way her friends are treating you for tactlessly telling the girl how you feel. You have to keep in mind that girls tend to be more sensitive than guys so you probably did a real number to her self esteem. Your honesty is something to be admired. Take this as a lesson to use your social gifts as way to lift people up and not as a weapon.

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  • cmon man. I almost believed you up until "grotesquely" and "cosmetics" and "horribly deformed" lol.

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  • Dude. You done fucked up. You don't EVER tell a woman you think she is fugly. You just don't do it. You could have politely told her "no thanks. You seem nice but you're not my type." But you done fucked up. But now you know why you don't say shit like that. They will hate you forever and probably won't leave you alone about it ever. Ever.
    lol oh man...

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  • You should absolutely be honest that you weren't attracted to her. But you went way too far. All you needed to do was say no, yet you instead decided to say things you should have known would be very upsetting and demoralizing to her. That's not being honest, that's just called being a douchebag. Especially considering you still don't give a shit that you seriously hurt her, you only wish you didn't say it because of the way it's affected YOU.

    So what do you do? You take what you get from her friends because that's basically what you asked for by acting in that way.

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  • I kind of suspect a troll here, but I'll assume you're not.

    I'm all for being up front about rejecting someone. However, if she didn't ask you why, then it isn't necessary to tell her why. Is it necessary to use the word "grossly?"

    I would have answered, "Thank you, but I'm not interested." If she asked why, I might have answered that "I'm not attracted to you." I wouldn't feel a need to go beyond that.

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  • It's not drama. Her friends feel that they need to be honest with you about the fact you're an asshole.

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  • To be honest, what you said to her was fucking heartless. Sure, you don't have to date her if you're not attracted to her. But you wanted to be honest with her? Well simply saying you aren't interested in a relationship is honest enough. Not by insulting her like that. And the fact you called her a "bitch" shows that you lack respect for females. Stop making yourself look like a complete arsehole and show some respect next time.

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  • Wow You're fucked up I suppose you aren't very sensitive to other peoples feelings all you had to do was say no.

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  • You are a complete asshole.

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  • Not sure if srs. I believed up until "grotesguely." Lmfao at "horribly deformed." Surely it couldn't have been that bad. Also by attacking do you mean just saying you are an a-hole or are they physically attacking you? OP you could have not used words like "grotesque" and "bitch." Tbh her friends would have thought you were an a-hole regardless. You could have handled the situation better OP. What you did is equivalent to me trying to talk to a girl and her saying "eww no."

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  • You shouldn't 'to be forced to go out with her, but that statement must've destroyed her. Next time one of her friends comes by, tell them that you had no choice, she just isn't meant for you.

    Honestly, you should apologize. Don't go out with her, but do apologize.

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  • I think you broke it down for her way to bluntly. Especially reccomending cosmetics lol. To me it kind of sounds like a joke because of how stupidly you handled it. Well you should maybe apologize for being rude, and explain to her that just because you dont find her very attractive, that someone else might like her. That is how you politely tell someone that, for future reference.

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  • be a man and take it, not much you can do

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  • you did no wrong. girls are childish and cliquish often as the weak forms a community and the strong is a lone wolf more often than not.

    i got cut off by a group of my exes friends and they private msged me how my ex didn't want them to associate themselves with me... via Facebook etc .

    its childish.

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  • Dude, there was no need in saying all that to her. You really sound like a complete jerk to me, stop! >.<

    I hope she finds someone with a much better attitude and respect to women. You don't deserve love at all... -_-

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  • I don't see the problem... if you aren't attracted to her why would you string her along...

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  • You deserve that.

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  • You should have just said you weren't interested and if you had to be more specific just say I'm personally not attracted to you. Don't say your horribly ugly. There's no reason for that

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  • Trolling effort 3/10

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  • I was going to say it's alright, but you went too far saying she was grotesque. I've had women tell me I'm too ugly to date, and it ruined my confidence. I'd never tell a woman she's ugly ever, it's extremely insensitive. You deserve getting berated.

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