I have been seeing this girl late 20's and I am late 30's. 10 year age gap. She has a child and I have two children. We have been "dating" for about 4 months. We became intimate about a month or so into this "whatevership". I am very emotional and like to express my feelings about her to her. I have even told her I loved her when I was drunk. LOL. She has said that she doesn't like to talk about feelings. However, when I try to talk to her about my feelings for her she does not reciprocate. It is like pulling teeth to get her to talk. She says she likes me, but doesn't want a relationship tag. However, after these conversations, we continue to "hang out", her term, and act like we are in a relationship. I hang on her every word and jump when she says jump. I am really tired of this emotional roller coaster. She said that she wants to be just friends with benefits, but when I don't text her she gets upset. I really want this girl as my girlfriend, but she just doesn't want to commit. I am like the girl in this "whatevership". I have tried to cool down and give her options for her space, but she wants to keep me close apparently. I feel like she is just scared to commit. I don't want to completely shut her off, but I do want to protect my emotions. My love and kindness is good for someone, and my thought is if she doesn't want it then why waste my time being an emotional basket case.
Thanks for any input.
Most Helpful Guy
You're right; she's afraid to commit. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Deep down in her subconscious, she wants to commit to you. She craves that attention and that someone else cares for her. However, she may not want to commit because she's hoping for something else to walk in her life. If she settles with you, then that's it. There's nothing else and maybe having a stable, routine relationship scares her; maybe, she hates boredom. At the same time though, she needs you like people need insurance.1