My girlfriend dumped me should I take it personal?

We met two years ago. Fell for each other hard. Sounds cheesey but fell in love. Her parents forbid us from seeing eachother. We snuck around anyways and got caught. Really bad situation. Didn't see her for months or hear from her. She saw me on the road and stopped her car literally ran across the intersection crying We talked for a little and she could barely speak was having an axiety attack.

We casually started seeing each other here and there and then it escalated. We made plans to move out and she immediately said yes when I sugguested it. She was willing to run away with me right there. Said we have to do this the right way.

We ended up waiting 4 more months and would only see each other twice a month everytime she would leave she would end up crying. When I asked her if anything is happening at home she would say everything is fine but now I think that is a lie.

Two weeks before we are about to move out she called me calm and collected saying we should break up. She bailed out and was saying it's jot smart and we aren't going to love each other forever. Her mom said she would never speak to her again and cut off all her college funds if she left with me.

Before she had no problem with this and I promised her to help pay her way through And we'll make it work.

She called me the next day hysterically crying saying let's work it out I just want you you make. me happy no one else etc .. then the breakup got sloppy because I got pissed at the mixed signals.

It's been three weeks now. She views all my social media still because it shows me. I don't know what to think.. first time I've ever had heartache never felt so weak in my life.

Updates:
I know this is fricken long but I'd aprecciate some feedback.
Can I get some opinions?
Want some more answers
Let's push this to Tha top..
Thinking about contacting her Ira been a month now.
Wanting more answers.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Either fight for her or walk away.

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    • She told me she needs space

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    • Yea I know, that's just how break ups are for some people. I think it's easier to just block them out and forget them though. Questioning too many things, you'll just sit there picking every small detail of the relationship and wondering if you could of done differently. In reality though, most people aren't with the person they'll be with forever when they're young, so just enjoy the experience and use what you learned for the next one.

    • So it's been a month now. She's still viewing all my social media.. been posting a lot more pictures going out and what not. Got a new job promoting at some nightclubs been posting a lot of that stuff. Is it ok that in posting these I don't want her to think I'm trying to get her jealous. Same tIme don't want her to think I'm at home crying all day in the fetal position. Tells me she's views it she knows that I know she's viewing it.

What Girls Said 6

  • I honestly think that she does not want to rnd it but she must be getting a lot of pressure from home.
    It is true you offered to help her pay her college funds but big steps out of the comfort zone are the hardest.

    I think you guys should talk open heart no lies and see what can be done and what you are both willing to do to fix the relationship.

    Good luck!

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    • like I said it got messy and i asked her eventually are we done because at one point she said I don't know if I want to talk to you anymore. I hurt her she hurt me. Said she needs some space I've given it to her but again it's been 2 weeks since she said that now.

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    • Im my opinion I don't think that was easy at all but everyone is different so maybe it was easier for her to do that than dealing with the matter.

      And if as you say she seemed closed minded she was probably avoiding to make anything worse.

    • So this question keeps storming away in my head. That night she broke up with me I said she sounded calm and collective and asked her why she sounds so non chalant about this like it's nothing. She got emotional at the end of the conversation.

      But then she called me the next day hysterically crying saying all that stuff I mentioned before. I'm wondering if she just called me out of emotion or just to make me feel better and save my ego.

  • I think she truly likes you, but parents do have huge influence in their children's lives (I'm actually going through a VERY SIMILAR situation right now). It doesn't sound like she lost attraction, but pressure at home got to be too much.

    Would you look at mine please? It's called "Does this behavior mean that he's losing interest?" in the relationships category. Thanks!

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    • I answered yours.

      I just don't understand hoebshe could cut contact like that after everything with. little to no explanation. I feel like if she cared she would kf been more open with me. Then again she has always been terrible at showing emotion.

    • Well I think you answered your own question then. Her way of dealing with emotion is shutting down and hiding it. I'm so sorry.

    • So this question keeps storming away in my head. That night she broke up with me I said she sounded calm and collective and asked her why she sounds so non chalant about this like it's nothing. She got emotional at the end of the conversation.

      But then she called me the next day hysterically crying saying all that stuff I mentioned before. I'm wondering if she just called me out of emotion or just to make me feel better and save my ego.

  • Your first love makes you feel that way... heartache. If it was meant to be, it will be.

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  • http://imgur.com/qtR9XLK daaamnn that's some serious shit

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    • Any feedback lol

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    • Do you think she could of lost interest or attraction. Before she was so ready for this.

    • She's probably interested now but I'm guessing it's just spur of the moment for her

  • she hasn't lost interest

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    • What makes you say that? She was so ready before then she just dropped me cold when things got hard.

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    • Was out her character.. she seemed like she was either trying to prove a point because she was mad or did lose interest.

  • Have you tried to contact her in the last three weeks?

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    • She said she needed some space.

    • That was after things got messy and we got into a fight. I hurt her with some things I said.

    • What do you think?

What Guys Said 4

  • I highly doubt that she is disinterested in you. And if her parents hadn't given her an ultimatum, I suspect she'd be with you. She is simply fearful of losing their support, which to her, at this point in her life, may seem stable and quite essential to her future.

    She's torn and therefor will not be mollified with uncertainties. And as long as she's dependent upon her parents, who she likely trusts more than yourself, she'll be submissive to their demands.

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    • Why so up for the idea before and then suddenly backs out?

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    • One can only speculate. You assassinated her character and confessed your distrust in her when you accused her of cheating. That in itself left a bitter taste in her mouth. Thus, from that point forward she had her guards up.

      In my opinion, by referencing guys that hint on her to you, she was either trying to get your attention, to get you to value and pay more attention to her, or, and to equalize the situation. Like, say," hey, buddy, you are not the only one who enjoys talking about himself." As she stated, she developed the idea that you weren't really invested in her as you may have thought.

    • I'm not sure if you want to reunite with her or simply want closure, but if a reconciliation you want, I suggest you first recognize that accusing her may have been the deal breaker. Never accuse someone of cheating. You either approach them with facts or not at all. Why not start with simply being honest with her about your feelings and fears as well as offering an apology and then see how the ball turns, my friend.

  • *sighs* how old is she?

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    • 18 years old

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    • she's probably just intimidated by her evil parents, they can't dictate who she can date now that she is 18 but they don't have to pay for her college if they don't want to. I'm sure she still loves you but like I said her parents are likely just using scare tactics on her. She should just run away with you. It's best to let it play out in time wait till you hear from her again and see whats up.

    • So this question keeps storming away in my head. That night she broke up with me I said she sounded calm and collective and asked her why she sounds so non chalant about this like it's nothing. She got emotional at the end of the conversation.

      But then she called me the next day hysterically crying saying all that stuff I mentioned before. I'm wondering if she just called me out of emotion or just to make me feel better and save my ego.

  • Be realistic mate. It's easy to say "I'm ready to drop everything for you" in the heat of the moment. She probably wants you more than anything, but let's be serious... Her mother never speaking to her again? Getting pissed at her for mixed signals when something like that is involved is harsh, if you think something deeper is going on at home then it could be even worse.

    If you're willing to wait for her parents to come around (is this a possibility? Why did they forbid you to start with?) and you think she's worth it, then do it, and work out how you can best approach the entire situation. Take a step back and try to understand what's going on from her perspective, and then decide whether you can deal with it.

    If you can't handle waiting or fighting for her - as maturely, amicably and sincerely as possible - then cut your losses and do your best to move on. Is there any way you can speak to her parents? Have a serious conversation with them about how you feel about their daughter and if there's anything you can do to sway their opinion of you. She's obviously defied them already so this may be a difficult thing to accomplish but if you genuinely think there's a chance of it working out, and you want to be with her that badly, you'll find a way.

    Sorry if this comes across as blunt but sometimes that's best; don't mean any offence!

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    • No offense taken. We have tried talking to her parents. Was a diasasterI am madly stupid jn love with this girl I'd wait for her but she asked for space right now and I need to grant that.

  • Go to her parents and tell them everything, that you have changed and that you love her and you just want this to work

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