My boyfriend screams extremely loud when he's mad?

When we argue at home he screams so loud that the neighbor texts me and we even had a noise complaint one time... And he screams over the dumbest fights. Do you think he will ever learn how to tone it down and control his anger issues? I just don't know what to do anymore. We have been dating for over two and a half years. He never yelled at me like this the first year of dating, it started happening when I moved away from home to live with him. His family actually asked me if my bf has yelled at me yet and they advised me to step out to another room when he's mad... I just feel like I shouldn't have to do that because he is a grown man, he is not a child. I'm 21 and he is 29. Anyone have any experience with this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's sounds like he may need to see/talk to a professional about his anger issues, the fact his OWN family warned you to step out of the room is a clue that he has a history of escalation in a physical manner. This is something that can be worked on but it has to be him to put in the effort to want to change. He has to be willing to explore why he has such anger (normally its unresolved issues stemming from childhood, or a chemical disorder). I urge you to be very causious this can escalate to a very very violent situation for you.

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    • Thanks for the advise.. I agree on the professional help but I don't think he'd ever go for it.. And I know what I'm getting myself into.. It's just I guess I still love the guy I first fell in love with. The guy that I thought was respectful and would never hurt me... I don't understand how someone can change their personality like that. I mean he's not always on a rampage obviously that's why I'm putting up with the whole scenario. It's just he used to be completely different when we first got together... I just don't understand that.

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    • I should have listened to everyone... My bf ended up hitting me across the face tonight :( ... I'm going back home in the next couple of days. I am so hurt right now.

    • I'm very sorry that happened to you. unfortunately domestic violence is very common and he has all the signs of one who would eventually get to that point. I hope you called the police, that you got out of there, he needs to know there are consequences to his actions.

What Guys Said 2

  • Try classical conditioning and negative reinforcement. Take away positive things like sex, or cooking dinner, or talking, etc every time he screams. This way screaming will be associated with the negative things in his life

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  • Leave before it turns into physical abuse ?

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What Girls Said 3

  • LOL, dump him!

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  • That sounds scary. What if it turns into physical abuse? You should be careful when he is throwing fits because you don't know if he could strike you or something out of anger...

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  • Red flags girl. He needs to learn how to control his anger. If he's willing he should take anger management classes. Next time he yells ask him calmly why he's so frustrated and tell him you'll listen but only if he speaks respectfully. If he doesn't change it's a precursor to much worse.

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