The talk... or not the talk... implied relationship?

So I started seeing someone a month ago. He does all the "relationship" things including getting me flowers for our one month (sappy but cute). He has made comments such as if he isn't with me, he is working or hanging with his two best friends. I have clothes (minimum amounts, didn't move in lol) and toothbrush etc over there. He knows my schedule and made a comment that it was "implied" my days off are spent with him. He is obviously taken with me, makes no attempt to play it down, tells me all the time. Plans ahead for what we are doing next week, next month, over the summer.

The basis of our "thing" is loads of sarcasm, wit and lighthearted teasing peppered with truly sweet moments. He is going away for two weeks and I jokingly said he was leaving me to my own devices. He joked back that we hadn't established anything yet and what was good for the goose was good for the gander. OK, I admit that bugged me. He texted last night how happy he has been this past month, but that one conversation bugs me lol. He told me from date #1 that he does not "compete" with other guys for a girl, in other words when he is in, he is in.

Is The Talk absolutely necessary to establish commitment levels or in some cases, are actions already establishing the commitment? I of course know it is way early to think long term forever, just want to be secure that he isn't actively looking elsewhere at this point.

Sorry, newer to modern dating after 12 years out of the scene. Any and all thoughts welcome.

Updates:
He called me his girlfriend when introducing me to his friends last night. I guess that answers that!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you can talk about it then it's not a strong relationship so if having the talk causes problems then you know it wasn't right for you.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Obviously actions alone do not establish the commitment, since you have seen the actions and do not understand the commitment. Time to have the talk.

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  • When I hear "I love you," that is "the talk."

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  • Yeah. Defining the relationship is something you'll be glad you did.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would have the talk, bring it up casually to make sure you are on the same page. I'm struggling with the same conversation lol.

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    • Crazy, isn't it? I have heard horror stories about girls who thought they were in who ended up being wrong in their assumption! Yet what an awkward thing to bring up if he already "assumes" you are a couple. This one even made a "come on we need to decide this as a couple" comment about something we wanted to do. And yet we haven't had "the talk. . I swear when I was single before I NEVER had The Talk...*sigh.

      Good luck with yours :)

    • It is awkward. My guy made plans with me for May... I'm like wow ok... that's pretty far away so are you saying we're a couple? Haha. I'm hoping to bring it up this weekend-I'll give you a full report! Hopefully yours isn't awkward!

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