I think I might have done it. Most of my life I was ignored and bullied, all I ever wanted was some love (cheesy I know but its true).
I pushed everyone away and then this one guy began to push me. He was supposedly in love with me. But I had never found him attractive or had any interest in him. I tried pushing him away but he kept pushing me until I finally dated him.
The next day I kissed him wasting my first kiss. BUT after that I had a hard time kissing him. I pulled away everytime he tried to kiss me.
I won't lie. He wasn't a good boyfriend. He was always busy and rarely had time for me but you could tell he really liked me. Later he dumped me.
Now I am in love with him. I don't understand why but I am. IF ANY OF YOU try the "you used him" shit, I don't want to hear it. Because I fucking rejected him more than once, he kept pushing no matter how hard I tried to push him away.
The question is, did I trick myself or what?
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Most Helpful Girl
Sometimes I feel this way when a guy showers me with attention and he suddenly pulls away. I miss the attention and love the attention, so it appears as though I love the person, but I actually miss the attention. It's sort-of like when we want the things we can't have, but once we get them we lose interest. While it feels like you're in love with him, this is a high possibility, and you won't know for sure, because it feels exactly like the feeling of falling in love. Only time can tell.1
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