no strings attached problem. really need help before i explode. please?

I had started talking to a guy after my breakup. I didn't want another fucked up relationship and neither did he. So we decided to do no strings attached. He is a normal decent guy. He has just been in two long relationships. And has never gone further first base. We used to talk everyday and have sexchats. I got emotionally attached to him. So I started keeping some distance. I decreased talking to him. He talks to other girls too. But not like he talks with me. Few days ago I asked him to come over and we madeout. It was his first time. It was amazing. But now I have so many feeling for him. I think about him all the time. He still talks to me normally. But I want commitment. Though I've always shown that I don't want a relationship. And relationships are bullshit. But now I want him to be just mine. What should I do? Didn't he get attached too? Should I continue this kind of relationship? Please help anybody.


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What Guys Said 2

  • yeah an open relationship is going to feel shitty at times, but you have to stay strong so that you get used to it. flirt with some dudes.

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    • I'm doing that only. I have a lot of other options. But then I feel what if I give my time to any other guy and then he really stops feeling for me because I have shown that I don't have much interest.

    • You have to test the waters a little if its going to work. If you flirt with some guys, and he starts getting distant just talk to him. your best bet is to keep communicating with him and showing interest in him as well as other guys. hell he might even get jealous, then you guys can agree to be exclusive if you want.

    • Okay thanks;)

  • talk with him again.
    It's clear you won't manage to maintain your relationship as it is.

    I can't guarantee the outcome, but coming clean to him and working together to find a solution is really the only long therm viable solution you have.

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    • And what if he stops talking to me then. I really don't want to go over that phase again when I'm just so emotionally fucked up.

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    • i know what you're going to do. You're going to let him know there's something you'd like to talk with him about. Maybe invite him out for some food in the process?
      Be 100% honest with him, and be aware he might ask questions. If he does, answer honestly. It'll be tough, but in the end it's the best option.

    • Haha thanks for your advice. I just talked to him. Turns out he doesn't have any feelings for me. He likes this other girl who is "just the type of girl" he needed. So I think we are just done and I should move on with life. But thankgod I didn't confess any of my feelings and just tricked him to blurt things out. I'm such a fool.

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