Still can't get over being shy, how will I get a girlfriend?

I came to the conclusion that I will never be able to really get over being shyness. Some might say that it is due to afraid of getting pride hurt and low confidence. Yet, it is very hard to get over both, when I look in the mirror and don't see much (still wish I was further along in my life. I have a job, but still trying to find a career. I have been working on getting into Pharmacy School, finally have a breakthrough. I am not in yet, but have a good chance of getting in God's willing. There is a back up plan, which is Nursing if I don't get into Pharmacy School). I am not a total bum, but I can't help feel like I am worthless. The one main problem is I joke around a lot and the last couple girls didn't realize I was serious when I told them that I wanted to go out with them. 99% of the time I won't really approach a girl that I consider is very beautiful for the not knowing what to say. The main reason for that is, because of bad communication skills. I tend to repeat myself sometimes, because I don't know where to take the conversation after "Hi how are you?" I am so used to hearing why did you say that, oh you have to know how to attract women. Then the final things is physique I am 5'9'' and just went from around 193-195 to 203-205. I pretty much look like Kenan from Kenan and Kel, but smaller.

So I am figuring out how other guys like me succeeded in this area?


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What Girls Said 2

  • You sound like you are really discouraged and suffering. I hope you are in therapy. You need someone to talk to to help you understand your own good qualities. Your description of yourself sounds typical of someone whose thinking is distorted from anxiety and depression. You self-appraisal is not accurate because you are depressed and anxious. Cognitive Behaviorak Therapy can help you to spot your thought distortions (who would date me? It's too late to get a girlfriend...) and help you retrain yourself to see yourself more accurately. Second, it would be good if you could get into a social skills training group. in big cities there are social skills groups for adults. Some cities even have social skills training that specializes in dating skills. These are offered by mental health agencies. Finally, indulge your hobbies and passions. Hopefully you have a hobby that isn't completely dominated by men- if you involve yourself in your hobby you might find yourself bonding with a woman over a shared interest and that could deepen into romantic relationship. There is someone out there for everyone. You can do this.

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  • Online dating sites. That's what my boyfriend did. He was able to talk to me with no problems.

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What Guys Said 0

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