Is hooking up with someone a big deal to a shy guy?

I've been in a friends with benefits with this shy guy I'm developing feelings for and I'm just trying to understand what it all means. I'm mainly worried about ruining our friendship by letting him know how I feel about him.

My question is what does it mean when a shy guy hooks up with someone? I kinda feel like he doesn't go around picking up girls, so sex might really mean something to him.

Thanks in advance, everyone! :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Shy people aren't are a homogenous lump that can be generalized easily.

    Everyone is different when it comes to sex, but for me personally, I would not have been able to 'hook up' without some investiture of feelings. The mere act would create some. I'd say he probably has feelings for you in some form.

    A shy person involved in a friends with benefits situation just seems so completely alien to me. Is he actually really shy, or just mildly introverted? A lot of really extroverted people will call their normal friends 'shy' when they don't get up and dance on restaurant tables in public. Perspective.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I have to like (note: not LIKE like) a person in some way or another to want to hook up with them. I'm also affectionate and caring towards FWBs, as opposed to banging and then immediately leaving. This does not equal romantic feelings.

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  • He might also have low esteem and want sex. but usually feelings are definitely involved. let him know your interested but let him know you won't pressure him if he doesn't feel the same way.

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    • Any ideas on how to tell him with out freaking him out? He usually takes everything in stride, but I'm not sure how he'd react if I lay it all out on the line.

    • Just let him know your getting feelings but font want to pressure him. If you don't mind continuing the way it is tell him. overall just tell him exactly how you feel about the situation. It will make it easier on him. he won't have to worry about guessing what you mean or figuring things out. Just let him know you feel if he doesn't feel the same way either expect to spend less time with him or for things to stay exactly how they are.

    • Gotcha. That makes sense to me. Thanks for responding!

  • yes. especially because a shy guy will never ask for it and girls won´t ever ask for it ^^

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  • huge dealfdsfdsafdasdfds

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  • Maybe yeah maybe no so yeah no.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well, that could be a tad bit tricky. How does he act around you? Does he call and talk to hang out or is it basically just to have sex?

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    • We hang out without having sex. Not all the time, but we don't have sex every time we see each other by any means. He's usually kinda nervous/shy around me. Things have gotten better now that we know each others personality though. :)

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