Are girls more attracted to guys who are pursued by other girls or prefer those that have no girls chasing them?

Do you see a guy who gets along with several girls as valuable or as a player not worth a relationship. I tend to be shy at first and nobody cares about me but when I start to open a few girls seem interested in me and then as others see they come to the list. Why is that? what do they look for? friendship or are trying to see if they have a chance?

  • Valuable
    86% (6)67% (6)75% (12)Vote
  • A Player
    14% (1)33% (3)25% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not sure what to say. If I see other girls chasing him, then he most likely quite attractive. Yet, I kind of want someone who want just let anyone have him. I like guys who are loners. Like sure girls can throw themselves at him, but hopefully he turns them away until that one special girl comes around.

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    • How can I turn them away in a polite way?

    • I honestly lie and say I'm taken. However, I guess you could just tell them that someone else has your heart at the moment. Well thats still probably lying. Lol I don't know

What Girls Said 8

  • I prefer the sweet, bashful ones who are kind of hidden that girls aren't going after.

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    • Right but as soon as he starts to open, more girls suddenly become interested in him. What do they look for?

    • This is the mindset that gets you high rewards in every area of life. Not many girls do this in regards to relationships.

  • Apparently I like taken dudes, so if you're taken then I'm gonna want you more than when you're single.

    😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

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  • No, competition would make any girl jealous. And it's not really something that factors in... I mean, like, I don't like a guy because he's popular. I like him because I like him.

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  • No girls chasing him, for me anyways.

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  • No chase no competition

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  • Unless you're one of the many girls going after the popular guy, I think many girls would probably just disregard him as taken.

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    • So if you like him and you see him talking to a few girls and having a good time. Would you loose interest? I mean you already like him and probably interested in him. But haven't approached him quite well. Would you give up or fight harder to get him?

    • Personally I'm not that outgoing and probably not as 'beautiful' as the other girls, so I'd move on. It might be a different story if him and I were already close before he became popular.
      Although talking to girls might just be professional/academic, in which case it wouldn't bother me :)

  • Neither. I wouldn't automatically assume he's a player, but he's definitely not the guy for me. Not valuable either.

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    • And why is that?

    • I like guys who are more exclusive, don't need a guy who's constantly around girls either. I have plenty guy friends like that, and they're all pretty similar personality types and just not for me.

  • Ideally, you can find a guy who is attractive and easy to get along with who doesn't have hoardes of girls after him. That doesn't usually happen, though.

    I'd imagine that positive reinforcement is causing you to act with more confidence, hence attracting more girls.

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    • Yeah people look at me as not very approachable or friendly. I have been told that I have a strong presence whatever that means. But when they see I can actually have a good time with women they just start chasing me. It is annoying because I am still shy I just feel more comfortable with a few.

    • I understand. It can be hard being shy.

What Guys Said 7

  • This is a classic example, of what females SAY they want, vs what females CRAVE.

    Females, in the primal brain, are always drawn to a guy that is seen as "high valuable".

    As in,

    if he is perceived as being wanted by other girls, or perceived as being able to find another girl besides her if she doesn't want him,

    that attracts her MORE to him.

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    Here's the trick... it's all about DISPLAYING value to other women (even if you don't really have any), to get this "attraction boost". Just give the aura that if she doesn't want you, that you're not sweating it, and that you are CONFIDENT u will get another girl.

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    On the contrary, this is where the "desperate guy" idea comes from. The guy marked as desperate, doesn't display his value to other girls, in his interaction with a girl that he is targeting.

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    Less logic, more primal instinct... and ALL us guys in your dating, love & sex lives, will be better off. :-D

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  • They want the one who girls chase after, but not the one who chases after girls.

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  • hmm... i guess most girls want a "succesful" guy (how many girls want him) but yet they don't want him to stare at other girls once they are in relat. with him

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  • I'm not answering A and B because you B you said, A player.
    Just because you get along with girls doesn't mean that you are a player.
    If you are too available then that can turn s woman off.
    If she sees that you don't have much experience with women then her first impressions of you are hard to look over if she wants more than a friendship.
    That's why it is ok to try to socialize with any girl and figure out what they like and also always perceive yourself as worthy enough to have a woman.

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  • from my experience, having other girls wanting you acts as positive reinforcement. It does make you look more valuable, whether a girl will admit it openly or not. Having a presence on a girls radar is important if you want to attract her, and shy guys tend to not have a presence, so they ignore them

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  • In dating, as in Economics, sometimes the Rule Of The Second Best applies.

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_the_second_best

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  • Women sometimes don't notice that a guys attractive until other women do.

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