How to get over fear of dating?

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1215635-this-online-dating-thing-screwed-me-up

So I have been in the situation referred above, now after 3 months I still cannot bring myself to trust that a guy is not lying or hiding something important from me. And since I am still a virgin this fear obviously holds me back even more.
I feel that every guy that approaches me is just interested in sex, not really in me as a person who has opinions and a brain.
I am really struggling because I don't want a casual relationship and I don't want to deal with this type of guys either, it makes me really anxious.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should professionally talk to someone about it. I know, I know, you probably don't feel as though you need to but you do. They can help you open up and realize that not every guy is just out for sex. It will be a tricky recovery but it will help. Look for therapists, explore and find one you feel comfortable talking to. You show signs that you could have developed anxiety, and it could end up holding you back in life. Go to a therapist and find out some coping mechanisms that help you. I have anxiety and go to therapy, and on my own with a little help found stuff that works for me. There is nothing wrong with getting a little help, to help you trust again. It is not something that can be easily done on your own.

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What Guys Said 1

  • A guy only approach for sexual reasons. Thats only reason why we will approach. When a guy see a girl he likes 97.5% of the time he is thinking sexual stuff.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I totally understand your anxieties, I went through the same thing about a year ago. It's a huge step to take but you have to shred some of the insecurities and give a little opportunity to trust people. Stay guarded, and trust yourself. If a situation feels wrong, it is wrong and you need to remove yourself from it. However, the only way your ever going to meet someone great is by letting go of the fears and taking the plunge. You might get hurt, and it might suck really bad. But its worth the risk when you meet the right person. Be upfront and open about the fact that your looking for something serious (not casual sex) and wanting to take it slow. The right guy will do that for you. Its just a matter of finding the balance between letting your fears go but staying true to your values :)

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  • i have problem to move on too after being betrayed by my ex..
    about a year to move on and live with the thought like that but after that my heart is full of hope and ready for love
    i think all you need is just time to purely cure your heart and naturally open your heart for love. just live your life and be happy, you'll find someone

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