Is it despicable I choose to date someone in my income class? I make 200k a yr and I feel as though this becomes a big deal with women and?

they start treating me differently once finding out. I've decided to only commit to someone in my earning bracket to avoid some of the issues I've been facing.

i do prefer a dual income to invest and build something nice. why is it so hard to find a hot chick who earns alot? most I've met are in the low to middle range but never high earning?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • So here is my guess and I am just basing this off of my own female intuitions, experiences and observations.

    It is hard to find a hot chick who earns a lot because she would either be a celebrity or she is extremely into her career that she has no time or even interest in dating.

    She probably has a career that involves her traveling a lot too so you can't even see her ever unless you just happen to bump into her at the airport or are one of her bussiness associates.

    Also many women who are more focused on work and not so interested in dating may also not care to look attractive to the opposite sex (hair done , makeup. perfumes, feminine attire) so even if you run into her then she may not stand out in appearance to you. Many women who want to be boss ladies often have to take on masculine mannerisms as well as attire in order to assert power.

    for an example, Hilary Clinton wants to run for president so she wears pants suits and short hair sometimes slicked back
    bluebonnetsandpeaches.files.wordpress.com/.../hillary_clinton_300.jpg

    Michell Obama is the First Lady, A Wife and is not trying to assert her power. So she wears feminine hair styels, makeup, and nice dresses.
    www.usmagazine.com/.../..._michelle-obama-zoom.jpg

    Another thing. a lot of the women (Not all) who wish to settle down and get married also want to be able to be there for their children and husband so they choose to only reach a certain level of success in their careers. They reach a secure stable place in their careers and then they get married and go on maternity leave.

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What Girls Said 17

  • This is kinda why I refuse to date guys who are in the upper class. I'm broke as a joke, poor as fuck. But I've worked in many places and have had "well off" guys ask me out. Some of them are weird and bring their money or possessions into the conversation for no reason. I'm not saying your the type who does that.
    I don't really care for money. I make my own meager amount, you probably wipe your ass with the amount I earn yearly lol

    I don't know. I'd feel like he'd be too paranoid and think I'd just want him for his money. Most guys, even poor dudes, seem to think every girl just wants money. Why? I don't know. But to avoid that, I don't date outside of my earning bracket either cuz I don't want some rich guy looking down on me or feeling paranoid.

    It isn't despicable for you to have this dating requirement. But as you said, it really narrows down your dating prospects. Unless you go gay. Or date a celebrity if you really want a hot rich chick.

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    • =) I grew up so poor me and my family slept in the same room until I was 12. Now I have enough to give my parents allowance and support a few more people if need be. I just never wanted money to be an issue. It brought so much pain and even rejection. Now I deal was different issues. Men make money because often, they don't wanna get rejected by the women they love. I mean there's a reason why number 1 cause for divorce is money. .. . Men aren't afraid to get married... They're afraid of divorce and women not being stable from whatever. I would honestly date an average income earner if money didn't move her... But it does... And money becomes a huge part. ... No celebrities.. ... They are not someone I look upto.. . In fact I think they send out messages that harm society. ... Of course t are just I... But they are part f a bigger agenda.

  • Since women generally make less than men it's going to be rather hard for you to find many women in that income bracket in general. You'd have much better choices if you changed your outlook and dated women who are self-sufficient no matter how much they bring home. If a woman can take care of herself and doesn't need you and your income you shouldn't have much trouble with them treating you differently once they find out.

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  • I don't even think about his income until we have been together long enough to really have connected. If he brings it up too early I almost think it is a prideful thing and that is a turnoff. I make enough to be perfectly content and don't need/want someone for any financial stability. You just may need to tone it down a bit until you are sure she is into you, then you will have no doubt she likes you for you.

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  • You want to date based on income. I think that's fsir. You make a certain amount and you want your partner to be able to do so as well. I don't see anything wrong with that.

    As for not being able to meet those girks, there's no one you met in your feild who is single? I'm sure in your profession there are conferences and events you can attend. That's a great way to meet someone exactly like you but female

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    • i m not sure if you understand what these differences may cause but i assure you, i m not dating based on income. i can easily support a wife and kids and have plenty left every month.

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    • because part? ... okay... well I do not exactly understand what his argument against your suggestion is.

      If you want to meet women who make a lot of money, then what is wrong with looking at women in your field?

    • because women in high earning fields aren't ususally attractive...

      the pretty ones are ususally accepted everywhere and did not have an ideal environemt to study hardcore for years. listne, how do you guys not understand class gap inssues of society?

  • Those girls that treat you different after they find out just aren't the ones obviously. That doesn't mean you should put every women who doesn't make as much as you in the same category. For example my major is journalism and I'm aware I won't make nearly as much as 200k a year but Idc because I'll be doing what I love. So why would it matter how much that women makes if she went to college, got he degree, and got a real job. Maybe what you're saying is you dont want a women who is a manager of McDonald's or something lol. (Nothing wrong with being a manager of mcds)

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  • I'd focus less on dating a woman with a specific income and more on dating a career driven women. Women whom are career driven often pride themselves in being financially independent and won't want to take advantage of your money. I know a veterinary surgeon who makes about 100k a year who married a urologist whom makes well above what you do. Even though she makes way less than him, she's still hard working and advances in her career.

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  • Hmmmm... tough call some people want money and some actually don't. I'm an ambitious person so school better pay off for me lol. I don't feel many women will make so much money as a man does, I'm not sure why but hopefully it changes. Money is the root of all evil.

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    • companies ususally dont pay women as much becaues they may leave for many reasons... you're a company incestment

    • Yea, me personally men are more grounded toward life decisions. I think they're more ambitious, and are natural born money makers.

    • Funny I came across this question, I was having the same convo with my girlfriend the other night. She disagrees naturally.

  • uh... no yeah uh. Only date other bourgeois, bourgeois; please.

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    • so you think class gaps dont cause real issues? must been watching a lot of movies eh?

      nice joke though!

    • what? no I am not joking. I want you to stay away from poor women apart from if you are giving them money.

  • Doing that will narrow your option in women so i wouldn't take a drastic measure like that, maybe just dont mention how much you make a year therefore you'll know their intentions are pure

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    • how many serious relationships have you been in? thats the whole point, to narrow things down...

      once you pass the 25 mark, dating becomes different, people are looking to settle down... and practical life things matter... like income. i dont tell her until its necessary. my female friend before moving in with her bf, checked out her bfs income statement and foudn out if he had any debts... when you marry or settle, their debt becomes your debt and so many other issues are caused by this gap...

      tell me how youd solve the issue of class gap? this is what its all about...

    • We're not discussing my relationships i wasn't the one who asked the question

      Once you pass the 25 mark people normally have baggage and people do want to look for someone to settle down with however when you get older anyway your option become narrow, there aren't as many people single therefore completely cutting out women who dont have near the same income as you will give you even less options to choose from that is what i was trying to say.

    • no i ask because young people are very text book and clear about how things should be but that all changes a bit after experience... they just accept the imperfect of society and what actually works.

      anyways, you're right the selection gets small. even if i were to only date attractive women, theyre (sane ones) all taken because of their biological clock... beleive it or not, i m sorta talking to a girl your age... not sure if i will take her seriously because a women matures around 26 on average according to "psychology today"... so this is when they won't change drastically. anyway, she's in love with me and no i did not spend a single penny... i m kinda messed in my head from dating my model ex... my standards are too unrealistic... i feel like

  • My cousin has a similar problem with guys. She makes $500K/year.

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    • she? whoa! doing what? investment banking?

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    • nice! wow thats awesome!

    • yeah. she really lucked out. started out at a small firm then networked her way to a major one. with her salary she worries about community property issues in the long term though she doesn't act like it. what problems do you face?

  • Not at all. Totes normal.

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  • You have a right to your preferences and opinions... nothing wrong with that.

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  • I make 199k. I guess i don't qualify.

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    • silly

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    • think about why the rich and poor dont hang out in society... the gap. its same thing. the lifestyles are too different, once they know i make 4 times more than them, they focus on what my money can do for them and attitudes change, if she has debt, ill end up paying for it one way or another, we can't do the same pricey things unless i pay for everything, i would have to give up my early retirement plan and pretty much "adopt" her i feel like

    • Those are valid concerns but just remind them you're not really rich if you have to support them. And actually, they sound more like leeches. There are poor and middle class people who could care less about money and would never expect that from you. The challenge for is not focusing on class gap but your ability to judge and find good people to include in your life regardless of how much money they make.

  • would you mind telling what line of work you're in? just curious. c:

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  • I never tell men how much I make. I'm not sure why you do. As long as you make enough to pay your bills while not being in debt, nothing more needs to be said. I make a quite a bit more than you, god help me if men in my city found out. I'd only get dead beats trying to make a name for themselves. I'm sorry you aren't having the best of luck.

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    • you're making more than 200k a yr being 18 to 24? lol did you start a business with capital from family inheritance? i can name most salary jobs that make more than me. let me hear it, i call a bluff. top 1 percent earning in your early 20s... chances are less than.001 percent.

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    • you can share something and maybe ill learn something. i asked a simple question and it feels like you're pretending to be offended so you can avoid sharing with me how you make more than 200k a yr... all the jobs that pay that much require extra schooling after getting a degree graduating with great marks... ivy school

    • real estate licence is prob the only career you can become very wealthy without any education... if you had family inheritance, its more unlikely youd start a multi million dollar buisness and succeeded so soon at your age... people coming on as anon... already emotionally charged? i m curuious to know... not sure why ur offended

  • You're also in the middle class. 200k/yr is not actually that much, i dont think it can be considered as high earning or salary or whatever.

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    • you can assume i m a show off or full of it and try to give me some humble pie based on emotions and false information but i do a lot of research before i open my mouth, unlike you. upper (high) income bracket is over 150+ k a yr and middle is under 100k.

      www.investopedia.com/.../...ome-class-are-you.aspx

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    • hun, if you dont think 200k a yr is a lot of money, something tells me you lack work/finance experience and life in general... coming from nothing growing up, this offends me.

      if youve tried to accomplish something related to finances and hard work, youd have a different perspective. you feel very immature to me.

    • not every information is shared verbally or in text for this matter. you dont have to tell me straight for me to know it. i have enough life/people experience to know whats shit and whats chocolate and even predict amazing things.

  • Why do you need to tell them how much you earn? If you've dated someone long enough for that to even come up, then it shouldn't be an issue for them. I mean, I earn a similar amount and it would never ever come up, unless I'd be dating the guy for at least a year or so. It kinda sounds like you're either telling them too soon or dating a very shallow kinda girl.

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    • because at my age, its important to get to know practical life things. people at my age tend to settle and details are important cause surprises are bad.

      i m sorry but i see where you're going with this but i never implied i tell them on the first date or even the second. did you go anon to call out a show off? pls retrain from furthering your interests if thats the case.

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    • Im pretty sure she is anon becasue she doesn't want to draw unwanted attention to herself about her income which makes sense to me. You dont want women to only be interested in you for your money either.

    • i m getting responses as if i m showing off... unless its a kind response completetly focused on the subject at hand, i m being reasonable..

      thats understandable=) no bad feelings

What Guys Said 8

  • "they start treating me differently once finding out."

    you're just running into shitty girls hahaa. its called a bad week.

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  • Well off and self sustaining are too different things. Money is an issue, it will always be an issue to everyone (excluding actual indigenous or woodland or nomadic peoples.) Presenting yourself as if your just well off and not wealthy is a fair though slightly dishonest tactic. But people will treat you differently based solely off that. I, who has no sexual or romantic interest in you, will treat you differently.

    Its going to come down on your ability to gauge others on how they view money and the people who have it. Knowing why someone treats you differently is important, that they do is just going to be a fact.

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    • i hope you dont have those interests in me lmao

      interesting points. thnx!

  • "why is it so hard to find a hot chick who earns a lot? most I've met are in the low to middle range but never high earning?"

    There's your problem right there. You're looking for love with the wrong reason. You're superficial. You take too much value of a woman on the outside than on the inside.

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    • ok, in the detailed section, i reasoned why... taht it causes issues... its not about the money but wanting to be treated as i would without the variable of high income..

      there's a chinese proverb that talks about finding your equal as a lief partner. this is where i m getting at

    • You don't need to be equal financially. Just equal in general.

  • Because that's a fuckton to earn and you've effectively reduced the segment of the population you can look at/find to be 5% or something like that.

    My guess is you would only meet those kinds of women in major cities, so you've also effectively slashed rural areas and other landscapes to chance upon great gals.

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    • holy shit you're right, ididnt even consider this... thanks man.

      might move to a smaller oil refning city. maybe thatll help

    • Maybe Vegas has 'em. Go where the money is

  • The higher the income the hard it is to find someone earning this much. It's normal.

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  • bro! that's awesome, but you should never disclose your financial situation to women
    make them know from the start that you are doing well, but don't let them know how well, and never let them know how much you make

    i had 2 jobs a year ago and was making $500 bucks a week, thats a lot for a kid lol

    when my gf saw my checks she got all upset, and i noticed she wanted to go out more and stuff, so i kind of get what you mean but to a lesser extent

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  • For the same reason it's hard to find guys over 6'3" tall -- most people don't earn as much as you do. The chicks who make what you make are rare enough that they can date guys even wealthier than you.

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  • Yeah you're way too materialistic. Love is more important than propping up your own ego with wealthy women and material possessions.

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    • how many serious relatinoships (1yr plus) have you been in being independent?

      movies makes it seem like that. if you dont have practical experience, you shouldn't talk. issues of class gaps are denied in movies. in real life, its a big problem

    • It's not a problem. Trust me, I've put a lot of stuff into stuff like this. If your intentions are hedonistic, sex, money, fulfilling social and cultural norms and inflating your own ego will be the priority. I know poor people who are very happy and rich people who are very unhappy. This is NOT a cliche. If you want a relationship based on love, intellectual development, etc. then that's one thing. May I ask why you care how much the woman makes?

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