I have been talking to this girl I sit next to in a couple of my classes and a few times we have grabbed a coffee on campus and then went to class.
I am planning on asking her if she would like to go and grab a drink at a bar/pub and was wondering if this is ok for a first date?
I don't want her to think I just want to get drunk and hook up but I'm someone who keeps to themselves until I get comfortable around people I have known for a while. Usually when I have a drink or 2 I become more talkative and will hold conversations better which is why I wanted to go to a bar.
Also, if it gets to that point where there starts to be some silence what should I do to initiate more conversation?
Most Helpful Girl
I am a communication studies major so i have some useful stuff for you. Uncertainty Reduction Theory pretty much means that when interacting with others we ultimately try to predict others behaviors which is nessesary for forming relatioships (of any kind). We reduce uncertanties about the person by gathering information about them
so what this means is that if you are dating then you are going to want to help your date reduce uncertainties about you and the best way to do that it through talking
Therefore, do not take her to a movie on the first date. Pretty much do not take her anywhere where it involves you two not talking.
Lunch or dinner is a great way to get people talking.
If you two like drinking then go to a bar and play some pool or whatever arcade games they have there. However, depending on what you ultimately would like to accomplish, a bar date may not always be a good idea for a first date because people can tend to drink too much. They may think they are comfortable with the person because alchohol does that to people but after the date is over and the alchohol wears off, your date will still not feel like you two have actually decreased very many uncertainties about eachother.
First dates do not need to be too complicated with different activities. Its best to keep them simple. Go to a shopping mall and walk around and look at stuff. Go into the gift shops or toy stores and play with the gadgets, or go into the stores that sell hats and sunglasses and you both can put them on and joke around and take pictures in them. It will always encourage talking and showing off your personality. On the first date the specific activities that you do should not be that big of a deal. When you are engaged in talking with the person then you can end up going on the longest walk, or walking in circles with the person for hours and not even realise that you just past the same store 5 times and that is a good thing.0