How to think of Ex-Boyfriend?

I'm in my late 20s & started dating a guy a 25 & he became my 1st boyfriend. It was on again & off again with us mainly being friends over the last 3 years. I was always the one to end it bc I thought we were better as friends & thought he had maturity issues. We haven't dated since summer '13 but he never stopped trying to get me & thought he was in love & even said suicidal. My main issue with him is that he was selfish. He didn't respect my physical boundaries. Always pushed. He's the only guy that has been under my shirt with some clothed grinding & that was too far for me. He always said he agreed but then pushed again. He wouldn't move on & in Dec. I told him never & he thought he was in love etc. but I said he was in lust. Late Dec. he got a new gf & he is doing everything right. I've continued to be his friend but it makes me sick. He never found this girl the least bit attractive until then. All I can figure is she told him what he needed to hear at the right time. They are long distance & will be seeing each other the 1st time since Christmas. All she knows is that we dated in summer '13. I asked him if she knew that in early Dec. his feelings were so strong for me & he said he is waiting until next week. It grosses me out that next week they will be talking about me & just eww. Everything from the 2nd base stuff to just anything about me... ugh How do I think about this?


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What Guys Said 1

  • really, you didn't get your first boyfriend until age 25?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hmmmm To be honest girl, it sounds like you were stringing him along, as if somewhere deep down you thought he would just pine for your love and affection forever, and now that another woman has captivated him, you’re feeling salty. Or at least that’s how the situation seems. Seems like you waited to address your problems and frustrations AFTER the break-up instead of during the relationship where they actually could have been resolved. No offense, but you sound extremely self-centered like you mainly think about yourself and haven’t even taken the time to process the fact that this guy seemingly allowed you to control and break his heart for a lengthy amount of time out of loyalty and adoration for what you guys had. You were always the one to break up with him meaning you were always the quitter, always the one to give up and initiate him essentially being demoted in your heart. Now that he’s embracing your absence you suddenly care. That’s not cool.

    Anyway, I think you should leave him alone and let him have his happiness without you trying to make that all about you as well. He’s exploring a brand new connection…you seriously think he’s going to waste it talking to her about you the whole time? No offense but get over yourself. Sorry girl but you needed to hear that. Stop acting like his world revolves around you.

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    • Sorry to be harsh, but it's not really fair that you have disrupted his ability to be familiar with love and romantic happiness and now that he's embarking on that journey with another, you're still somewhat impeding the process... if you dumped him then you should just stay out of his life instead of selfishly requesting the benefit of his presence as someone who's less significant in your heart.

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