Should women have to compete for guys?

I tend to back off a guy if it seems like there's competition because I don't see why he'd make me compete for his affections if I was worth anything. It also seems like the moment i make the smallest mistake he will just pick someone else in line. I just don't see the point of throwing myself at a guy with a bunch of other chicks just pining for his attention only for him to not give me the time of day while he gets an ego boost. If a guy basically made me fight for him like that I'd let him go. Does that basically make me a loser?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Uhhh Definitely not. Any guy who makes you compete with another female for his attention has serious self-esteem and ego issues. THAT IS A RED FLAG. Chances are, he will ALWAYS make you feel like you need to compete for his attention even if you end up in a relationship. This is so unhealthy because you probably won't feel like you can just be vulnerable, open, and upfront about your flaws and shortcomings. Guys who encourage that type of bullsh*t are reducing the emotional and mental level of intimacy they experience with females.

    You're not a loser girl: YOU HAVE SELF-RESPECT. You respect your time, your attributes, your gifts, and your collective self more than to be some pawn in some playing loser's little game. I am so proud of you for doing that for yourself and having the right attitude! Good for you for being strong, confident, and not letting this narcissists' f*cked up mentality on dating hurt your self-esteem. HE'S A LOSER and he needs to find a hobby more healthy and more productive besides pitting females against each other so he can stroke his ego! How lame!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Everyone competes for someone one way or another. Whether or not someone else is interested in the same person as you... competition is still occurring. You try to look better, get better clothes, flirt, smell good etc.. all of that goes into competition.
    You don't have to be "actually" going against other women/men in order for competition to occur.
    So as for you giving up automatically... that's your choice.

    "Does that basically make me a loser?"
    Up to you to decide from what I said.

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  • nobody should have to compete for anybody. even if they're the most desirable person on the planet if they're willing to do that to you then its not right for you. the best kind of relationship is one that is effortless, where you can just be free to be yourselves and not feel too much pressure

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  • Everyone competes for the prime pickings... You don't have to compete if you want what others don't really want to do. But if you want the best, well you're going to have to put some work into it.

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  • Everyone competes for everyone.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Oh yes... I know how you mean. I had drifted away from a guy when there was another girl there, he was trying to choose between us, and um I had made it easier for him to choose by leaving because I did not want to be an option in that way... And it was also bringing stress into his life, and mine.. :)

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  • No I hate female competition to the core, I also back off when I find out that a guy is a player or a ladies man, White knight or has a whole bunch of female friends, it's too much drama

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