Am I being needy or is this perfectly normal to guys?

I feel as if two people are in a relationship they should talk often when they don't get to see each other. Sometimes my boyfriend won't text me all day and then text me late at night something short. I don't want to start the conversation all the time because I'll feel needy and annoying but all I really want is to know how his day is going or even to just hear his voice. I don't get good morning texts and my goodnight texts are rare. I feel like he does care about me but sometimes he doesn't know how to show it. We've been saying for three months and he hasn't even tried to initiate a makeout session. Is this normal, guys? I know he wants to take things slow but how slow can one go? I want to hold hands/hug in public but he isn't really a touchy kind of guy and it makes me self conscious. He's already told me he loves me for a guy who wants to take things slow. Please help.. I need advice


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I get what you're going through!
    Maybe he's actually busy... But in my experience, guys that like taking things really slow and don't text that often/don't show off how they like you that often are insecure. Not about your relationship, but about being so close to someone and sharing their life and feelings. He might be afraid to get hurt and feel slightly vulnerable. Try to show him you love him and that you're ready for when he is! He'll feel safer and will most likely be willing to open up and take more steps.
    Good luck xx

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    • Thank you so much!! I really never thought about that

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    • Girls dont like things fast honestly, wouldn't call the guys insecure, experience maybe haha.

    • I believe that girls have some deeper reasons when they don't want to take things fast too

What Guys Said 11

  • Is it normal? No. You need to talk to him that you are feeling some communication barrier. You want his attention more.
    For your physical requirements, you should better initiate the things otherwise he'd take forever to start.
    Good luck.

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  • I'm not too into kissing, making out is kinda meh for me. Kissing you should be a very common occurance though, some guys aren't into texting much, honestly if this guy is going this slow and not showing any real interest, it doesn't sound like you two are going to wrok.

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  • i try to only text at night like night or hope u have a good sleep or something stupid. if she didn't text me she must be busy and i dont want her to think im clingy :P chicks are more known/normal to ask how u are and to follow up what ur doing. i dont see anything wrong with it as long as ur not asking every 5 mins... time may vary of course :P but im sure u get the idea.

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  • I would like to spend one or two days a week together with my gf. But i would also like a short convo when i wake u

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    • Cut off) wake up and before i go to bed. I spend most of my day after school working out, so i wouldn't want to talk much until late at night. But yes, i would like to have at least a short convo once or twice a day.

  • It's Ll about learning and a thinner seems he doesn't really know how to be in a relationship but just be patient with him and don't rush him and show him you're ready when he is. You guys seem like a cute couple lol if only I had something like that haha

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  • It's between being busy or shy. I'd vote shy which you can't do much about other than make him feel comfortable and hopefully he'll open up.

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  • I think I'm the same way as the guy. For me, I don't initiate things in general. Makeout, texting, nothing. If my GF initiates something, I go with it. He might be the same way and not show his feelings all the time.

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    • Why do you guys wait for us to make the first move?

    • I don't think most guys do, only some guys. I don't want to make her uncomfortable by trying to make out. She may not want to. So whatever she clearly wants to do, I go along with.

  • I think it depends on guy, and to what extent are you being needy. Personally, I like when girl tries to look out for me, but it becomes scary if she goes extremely obsessed...

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  • You should text/call him when you feel like it, at appropriate hours of course

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  • I don't think you're being needy. It's fine to want contact. Maybe this guy is either busy or as nervous as you.

    Trust me it's a lot easier if the girl initiates as we want to look cool for all of you.

    I'd say initiate more yourself and get him more comfortable to text. Set an example and he'll feel comfortable texting you more.

    Could you help me with my question pls?
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1370383-is-this-flirty-female-friend-into-me-am-i-into-her-why-do-i

    It's about a female friend and I'm confused.

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  • I would be happy if a girl liked me that much, some men take women for granted.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I see three different possible reasons. The first one I don't really think is the case but I'll throw it in for anyone else. He might just be a douche bag and not really care. But like I said I don't think so. Now the other two are; are you his first girlfriend or real relationship? Maybe he doesn't really know what to do or is like you and doesn't want to annoy you or be clingy or even embarrass himself (with the making out). It could be possible that he's trying to play it safe.
    Or for the third reason maybe he's insecure or just the type who doesn't want to let people close. I would have to know him to actually know. But maybe he doesn't want to get too close because he doesn't want to get hurt or hurt you. He might have been this way his whole life not just with you.
    If your gut is telling you something isn't right with the relationship then follow your gut. You can't always follow your heart. This is something you need to talk to him about and if it scares him off then he wasn't really all there for you anyway.

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    • Thanks so much! This helped a lot! I am his first girlfriend and I have to realize that he's never done this before

    • No problem glad I could help. I'm my fiances first girlfriend and it was hard at first because he lived a town away and isn't very talkative in general. I was always wishing to see him but didn't want to seem to clingy and then it turned out he had felt exactly the same way!
      Being the first girlfriend is weird and sucky but at the same time amazing and worth it lol

  • I guess it depends on what you want in a relationship. I don't think that's normal behaviour for a guy and I would not want to be in a relationship like that. I'm in a long distance relationship and me and my boyfriend don't get to see each other too often. So we text a lot.. Always good morning and good night texts, and we always message each other throughout the day too. We try to Skype or call each other on evenings and we try to see each other whenever we can. We've been together for just 2.5 months.

    Talk to him about it if you're not happy with him!

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  • That's perfectly normal. I don't see my boyfriend everyday but you better believe we talk every day. If I don't call him, he calls me. Even when we're both busy he shoot a quick text and when I'm sleepy he wants to go to sleep on the phone. So talk with him and tell him how you feel.

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  • Communication is key, girl! Let him know that you want to talk more on the days when you two don't see each other. Some guys are literally clueless, and also none of them are mind readers! Let him know what's going on in that head of yours and see what he has to say about it :) best of luck xxx

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  • I hate to tell you this but let me share my story. I was with my ex for almost 7 years and we broke up. After about 5 months of breaking up he started dating a girl. He decided that he compared her to me and that he would rather have me back, but since I wasn't ready take him back, he stayed with this girl because he didn't like the feeling of being lonely, after being with me for so long. Him and I were talking every day and hanging out, even getting sexual at times. He broke down and told me he wanted me badly.. and I told him that he would have to break up with his gf if I were to even consider taking him back. He was using this girl as my placeholder. When he was with me, he would ignore her texts and would only make the effort to see her once a week. Eventually he ended up dumping her to pursue me. so just be aware.. he may be doing other things and may not be into you.. :/

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