Does anyone else hate first dates? I need support here?

i have one later today with a guy I've never spoken to before but apparently we'd made eye contact many times in the lib. he asked me for coffee and its today and im just nervous cuz i hate first dates. they are awkward and uncomfortable. I've yet to go on a good first date. plus i always feel as though i have to fill in awkward silences and stuff like that. and what if it isn't going well? how do i get out of it without hurting his feelings?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well first date can be fun, or they can be boring or even uncomfortable. That is just a fact! However here are a few things you can do to help:

    1) Up front set a time limit. Just tell him that at X time (maybe no more than an hour after you meet) you have to go as you have something to take care of. This gives you an automatic out if things are not going well. You do not have to explain what it is, just say you have things to do. If the date is going well, you can always say "Well I can stay for another 30 minutes." If it is not going well say "Thank you for the coffee, but as i said, I have to get moving."

    2) Think of questions you want to ask him They don't have to be deep, just trying to get to know him
    - Does he have siblings? How many? How old?
    - Where is he from?
    - What do his parents do?
    - What are his classes? What is his fav prof? What is his fav subject?
    - Fav movie? Book? Music, Etc.

    You could ask a silly question; If you were cereal, what sort of cereal would you be? Or something that is just fun.

    If there is a pause, let there be one. You can watch him under pressure.

    Those two things will help you a lot. And if things go well, then you can meet longer the next time. In fact if they do, you can end it and say "Sorry I had to cut it short this time, but I would like to do it again sometime and I will make sure I have a larger time window"

    Hope that helps...

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    • thanks for the advice. i just hate coffee dates cuz theyre so simple in that all you do is talk. its a beautiful day outside so i think im gonna suggest we go for a walk instead or what not. that way i can feel things out better

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    • so i just came back from my date and it went well in the sense that we had stuff to talk about. but i think he was really shy so should i give him a second chance and see how it goes? can it take time for chemistry to develop?

    • Glad it went well. Yes sometimes chemistry takes time. You both just have to get more comfortable. Maybe he is for you. Maybe not. Just take your time.

What Guys Said 4

  • bruh calm yo self. its just getting to know another human being, nothing more. think about it like that.

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  • Don't bail on him. Be ready with a bunch of harmless questions you want to know about him. Just Google: Questions first date.

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    • i wouldn't bail on him. its not cool, but im always so anxious before hand cuz i hate the awkwardness. and what happens if i want to leave? not cuz im not having a good time, but because i want to leave cuz its getting a little dull

  • If you have an interest in the guy then you should at least go and see what happens. You can't just say you don't want to go on a date with him because you don't like first dates

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    • i have no idea if im interested in him thats the thing. i dont even know him.

    • Then why not find out?

    • i am haha. i just get extremely anxious before hand cuz im always worried its gonna be weird

  • Here in Portugal we don't go on dates. In that case, the interested person would start making conversation in the library, and you would get to know each other by using the library regularly.

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