First date questions and advice?

This is the first date as in my first date with this girl and first date of my life. I am 18 and in university. Im fairly outgoing but also very candid. I often say weird/funny things that I think about.

The scenario. We met maybe half a year ago and talked a bit. I think about her now and then but we haven't been in touch much since then. I saw her recently on a dating site and I figured "carpe diem" right? So i messaged her and asked if she wanted to grab coffee and she said yes (not sure if actually or just a pity date)

Anyways, here's the deal. I would love some advice on conversation topics (especially things to say if it gets awkward), what to wear, and just first date advice!

I also want to know if its a good idea to meet her at her place and then walk with her to the coffee shop or if I should meet her at the coffee shop


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First, your nervous, and that's ok. Its only coffee, dress casual, like what you normally would wear going out, jeans and sweatshirt tee are fine. Remember to enjoy yourself. You can't make someone like you, but if you hit it off great.

    You know little about her which makes it easy to find something to talk about.
    Its important to remember not to interview her. Talk about what you know, hobbies interests, music etc. what are your passions, you start the conversation, talk about something, it may feel awkward at first but once the conversation gets rolling you won't even notice you're talking so much. Dead silence will probably happen, its ok, don't panic when it does. Avoid topics like politics, religion, and any other sensitive topics. If you're comfortable, go ahead and talk about work, but if she seems reluctant to talk about work, then don't pry. Some people may be unemployed or are embarrassed of working where they are for some reason.

    Transitions keep the conversation flowing, if you're talking about movies and the topic is dying, transition to something by relating it to the topic, talk about the actors, the director other movies they've done. this is just an example. relate it to the topic, don't jump around, its a little intimidating to talk about music and then the next sentence is about family. relate the topics into each other.

    as far as what to do when things get awkward, try a compliment, ask a question, but don't freeze and don't panic, it will make the awkward silence worse. If things go well before leaving, ask to do it again another time, and be specific, invite her to coffee again the next week same time. it will give you and her time between dates, to think over it all, clear your head, and maybe even develop a longing for you while she waits for the next coffee. second coffee goes well, ask her on a date, take her to a movie, then a place to hang out and talk about the movie. Don't pressure yourself on the first kiss either

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What Girls Said 1

  • Meet at the coffee shop, then walk her home :)
    Wear jeans and a casual shirt
    Ask her what's new, find out what she's been up too, ask what she's looking for from that site :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Keep conversation light and funny.

    Meet at her place and then walk with her to the coffee shop, then walk with her back to the house. This will sound like a real date instead of two people meeting up for hangout.

    Let her talk 80% of the time if possible, ask thing about her, what her goal/hobby/etc. Don't spill everything about you, remain a mystery for first date.

    Try to land a kiss at the end of the date, if you can, that mean it really a date and not a hang out.

    Good luck!

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  • I just went on my first date too, it was amazing- this date try to also make it so you have "inside jokes' those are great and can be great transitioners

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