This guy and I have been friends for about two years but our friendship goes in and out, sometimes we talk all the the time and other times we never seen each other. A couple months ago we started becoming very close again, seeing each other often and talking a lot. In December we hooked up. Since then we have been having sex pretty often. However, we still act like best friends. We hang out all the time, we text everyday, he even sleeps over sometimes and we don't do anything sexual. We laid no rules when we started this thing so I have no idea where we stand. Last weekend a mutual friend of ours was seemingly trying to see if he was interested in her by inviting him over and he told me about it. When I asked him why he wanted me to know he said that if I was in his situation he would hope I would also tell him. We discussed at that point that hooking up with anyone we know is not allowed and would end whatever we have going. We haven't told any of our friends and it's been all very secretive. It just seems like more than a friendly hook up at this point. We hang out without having sex, we talk a lot, he invites me to go out with him and his friends.. I'm just not sure what any of it means. I'm planning on asking what is going on, like if we are exclusive or if we can see other people. I'm wondering what it seems like to others though.
Most Helpful Girl
That sounds like how a relationship is supposed to be... minus the exclusivity portion?
You are SUPPOSED to be in a relationship with your best friend!
You need to tread very carefully here... since you are actually friends and not strangers. Rules DO need to be defined, because you obviously already care about each other beyond the sexual aspect which means someone is going to get hurt.
He really needs to man up and decide if he wants to have a relationship with you or just be friends. You can't really be that good of friends and have sex and expect either of you not to get hurt at some point. Sex buddies only work if it's JUST sex and you are NOT friends who hang out with each other's friends.
It SOUNDS like there is something more considering he brought up the issue of being open with each other about not hooking up with mutual friends and being open to discuss that with him. Not to mention you speak in a way that tells me you have strong feelings for him.
Define it as a relationship that is exclusive if you see your future with him. If not, you have to stop the sex before someone gets hurt... and most likely, it's going to be you. Guys can handle these scenarios better than girls because girls tend to be more emotional in regards to sex.0