Why people consinder it THAT bad to be "friendzoned"? Don't they feel happy that someone values them as a friend?

Hope i'm posting this question on the right topic basically. LOL

OK let's get to the point... i've noticed here that when a girl or a guy gets "friendzoned" by their crush, they freak out! Like it's sth bad. Unless you wanted your crush to see you as some enemy... or sth.

I don't get it... don't you feel happy that your crush is seeing you as a friend? Personally i'd feel happy.

What on earth? Would you rather your crush see you as your enemy? OK i know that you want your crush to find you attractive and all... but we don't always get what we want basically... so instead of being happy that you're "friendzoned" why you complain?

I'd like to see some explanations.:-)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because people are greedy and they cannot be satisfied over the fact that someone values them as a friend in the first place.
    They always ask for more. They consider it bad because they want to protect their fragile little ego. It is abhorrent.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Of course you're happy that they want you as a friend. The thing is, you're stuck with those "more than a friend" feelings. They don't just disappear. So sometimes people may find it hard to be friends with someone that they want to be romantic with knowing that the feelings aren't reciprocated. Depending upon the intensity of said feelings, some people literally CAN'T remain friends. I don't see that as selfish.

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  • You can't expect people to be happy about getting friend zoned, though it's good to look on the bright side. At least he or she cherishes you as a friend.

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  • I don't know why people have a issue with this. The truth is you're closer to being more to that person if you start out as a friend. They can get to know you better.

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  • basically. ;)
    ...

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  • I value the friendship more in the long run. I'm with you, i don't understand that either. Seems a little selfish.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Dude, on paper you're absolutely right. But the "friend zone" is NOT about TRUE friendship.

    The real problem is that whatever you do, the "friend-zone" relationship is gonna tend to be one-sided.

    One person knows that the other is attracted, and the other's feelings won't disappear overnight. So it usually gets into situations where the "friend zoned" bends over backwards for the other one, who usually is MORE than happy to receive such attention, from such a "great" friend. This is where it gets really unhealthy in my opinion. This gets worse when you know that girls tend to be so flamboyant in their declarations (for instance : "You're such a great friend!", "My god I'm so lucky!", "You're so great", "We connect so well", "I love you", etc) and men, being logical creatures, take it at face value, AND sometimes as a sign that things could evolve at some point.

    A true friendship should be perfectly reciprocal. This is impossible with the friend zone.

    Every time I was "friend" with a girl, either, I wasn't interested, and she was, and it would be kind of balanced, either I was interested but soon realized the girl wasn't even being a REAL friend to me, no matter what she claimed.

    And even in the first case I felt bad sometimes seeing that the girl kept making efforts that she wouldn't for someone who'd be just a real friend.

    In short I find it unhealthy in both cases, and I don't believe in heterosexual friendship, plain simple. (This is more personal, but I know lots of people who agree).

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  • I agree. It's like people feel they have lost the game of life if they don't get a girl to be physical with them.

    In normal life, usually you don't 'win.' The girl is taken, busy, or not interested in you.

    Too much Hollywood I think, Klaatu. Guys think they are losers if they don't get every girl into bed like James Bond or that hot CIA guy.

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  • I don't know anyone who would consider it bad, I think the people who complain about it just couldn't handle the fact they didn't get what they wanted.

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  • Well, of course it is nice for a crush to at least still respect you as a friend. The thing is, you only see your crush as something more than just a friendship which is painful for some people because they know that can now never happen. Also, sometimes being friends with a crush makes it very hard to completely get over them too.

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  • I've met people who dread being friended by their crush, almost to the point of not wanting to speak to the person ever again. I've met guys and girls who do this. Hell, I've even been the one who got cut off for doing the friending. It happens.

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  • Yeah, I love all my female friends but I still only have one crush. I'd be glad to become better friends with them, but I don't really care if I'm I the friendzone for the most part.

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  • Because they are in it for the romanticization of sexuality with someone they find attractive. Not for the social relation.

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  • Brusied ego

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  • I just take it personally, I can't really speak on other guys

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