How to connect with a guy other than through sex?

I take a long time to warm up to people and really be myself with them. This works fine for friendships and all but not for dating. I feel like I scare off a guy at first because I hate small talk and seem to come off as talkative at first, but I'm not at all quiet once I get to know a person.

So I end up just sleeping with guys I like just because I don't actually have to talk much for that. Once I sleep with them I get sick of them and no longer even like them. But what I really want is a relationship but I have no idea how to start one?

Updates:
*come off as not talkative and not interested at first

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Most Helpful Guy

  • First thing to do, is to resist the urge to sleep with them. Once you're able to accomplish this, you can gradually work on your personality, so that you don't 'scare away' guys anymore.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • -Ask him questions. People enjoy talking about themselves.
    -Talk about various interesting/conflicting topics.

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  • Stop sleeping with them! The quirks we accept sexually are because we know them well by then and like things about them. Most likely this is why u can't get in to a relationship!
    Do things on ur dates... No drinking or dinners and also try the 36 questions thing online and pick some... Just don't make it sound like a job interview! Be yourself n relax they are there for a reason x

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