We started talking in October, met online. Made it official December 1st. He is the best guy ever, he treats me well, calls me beautiful, he's a real gentleman. He is also my first boyfriend ever, and we both love each other.
Today my mom addressed her concerns, which I HAVE SEEN, but looked past because of the way he treats me so well.
So here's the problem. Age difference doesn't matter but he is 31, drives but not on highways, and he won't drive in bad weather, or if he doesn't know the route. He also lives at home but only to help his younger 22 disabled brother. My boyfriend is basically like a 3rd pattern.
He also has some quirks, and doesn't have the best table manners but that can be worked on.
I see the problems, and issues but I don't want to break up with him. And I know he can't provide for me yet either cause he has no job. I'm 26 though, I have a part-time, and live at home cause I don't have enough income.
This guy is a good person but there is a lot he needs to work on, and I do love him, and he lives me.
So this all comes to my question, if I stay with him, how long should I give him to change? I did address my concerns to him too, before my mom even talked to me, I might add, and he wants to change mostly for me and then for himself.
Any tips or suggestions would be a great help. Thanks.
- 1-3 months50% (3)20% (1)36% (4)Vote
- 4-6 monts17% (1)0% (0)9% (1)Vote
- 6 months or more0% (0)40% (2)18% (2)Vote
- Give him all the time he needs0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
- I know it's hard but you should end it before you're in too deep.33% (2)40% (2)37% (4)Vote
Most Helpful Guy
Finding a job should be a priority for him, but it can be hard for him to find one pending on various factors; college degree & how long it's been since he was last employed for example. Him taking care of his disabled brother is also going to play a role in his jobhunting... reads across as though he has to make time for him (possible specific times at that).
I agree with @NerdInDenial that if he does it for you and not for himself, it could cause friction and lead to issues within the relationship. If he makes the changes, great... as long he's doing it for himself and not just because it's what you want.0