What makes a guy want a relationship?

I have never had a boyfriend, except one. He was actually a player and by what now seems like a miracle, he said he wanted a relationship and wanted to be with me. I was 22, my first boyfriend. He first wanted to mess around with me and I said I don't overstep a line if I am not in a relationship. Once we were together, I told him I never wanted to sleep with someone I'm not in a relationship with. However, that relationship ended eventually because of me. After that, I met nice guys, who were really loving and caring. They never did anything to indicate they weren't that into me. They were available, kept in touch, would talk to me all time, make plans, send me loving messages and discuss everything under the moon. But it somehow never lead to a relationship, on their part. This has happened with 3/4 guys. I am 27 now and I have given up on love, partly due to my own conditioning that a guy will never commit to me and even if he shows interest its probably not real and i know 100% that I will never have my happy ending. I know people say I can't think like that, but the 4 guys are the only ones I was serious about. There are many guys whom I went on dates with and weren't serious either. So with a string of such outcomes, me trying to improve myself etc. I realise it is what it is. I have several friends with major flaws that I don't even have. I'm easy going but clear that I won't settle for less. We all have flaws, but I have always given and never gotten back. However, since I know something is wrong with me and I don't get why guys love me so much, cry and feel hurt when rejecting me but actually never really liked me in the first place since if a guy really likes a girl, he commits to her. Its not the type of guys etc, my ex is the only player I liked and he was absolutely in love with me but the other guys were regular nice guys who just never think I'm worth committing to. So when I meet guys now, I know they aren't really interested.

Updates:
So what makes a man commit? My friends find love so easily, even when I give up.. guys chase me but then they never really take me seriously enough. They just think i'm amazing and enjoy my company but then they will always want to commit and be with someone else. I wonder why some horrible girls gets guys and I don't. Im always considered hot or beautiful and extremely kind and down to earth but I have low self esteem now since someone from the opposite sex probably wouldn't never commit to me

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its not just guys. Its girls too. Im in a similar situation like you. I had many girls showing signs all the time that they like, we were talking, going out but none of these girls ever wanted something more. All disappeared all of a sudden not caring anymore. I have not given up on girls yet, but I don't have much hope about finding someone either. Every girl I meet is either ''fuck and leave'' or just loses interest after a while.

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What Guys Said 1

  • didn't read it, too long, rule no. 23, if he's a bad boy then he will not stay, if he a nice guy, he will commit, end of story.

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    • should have read it before stating the obvious

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    • Nice guys are nice guys. Jerks are jerks. There's no such thing as nice guys being jerks. You jus saw a jerk being nice jus to get into your pants. To really figure if he wants be settled with you... Hmmm that's kinda hard and I do see what you mean... I guess there's no sure fire way besides knowing there background history. My solution is to date men you know is the one for you. If he has the qualities your looking for. I just would sit dating out until I'm ready if I were you.

    • yes I'm not dating at all and don't want to at all. Its been over 2 years since I have. I gave up at 24 but at 25 the guy who i thought was the one actually rejected me after chasing me for a year. Not just chasing, sending me flowers on my birthday, driving across country to see me, talking to me every day, saying he loves me, telling me everything and then finally kissing me after a year. After the kiss, I asked him what it meant. He said he doesn't want anything because he doesn't see a future.. why use me then? And he even had the guts to say he wanted to stay friends. After him, I realised even he didn't want it. Imagine the next guy showing all the right signs and respect and rejecting me after investing so much. Its not worth it, i just wonder why they even bother.. especially if they never liked me.

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