Can asking a guy to commit too soon scare him off or make him question the relationship?

Can asking a man to commit or ask him where things are heading too soon really scare a guy off or make him end things if he is a commitment phobe?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Asking him 'where thing are headed' isn't a problem, but asking him to 'commit' too soon probably is!

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    • So it could mean he would dump you?

    • He may not go to the extent of dumping you, but he may feel you're being 'pushy', which in turn may decreases the chances of him committing to you.

What Guys Said 3

  • asking a guy to commit by itself can scare him off, you want him to commit to you because he wants too, not because you ask him too.

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  • Yes, it can. The reason is that he may come to think that you're obsessive or clingy in a very unhealthy way. The key is to make him want you. If he's the right guy, he'll come to you and pay attention to you without any qualms. I initiate about 90% of everything with my gf because I adore her and she has the patience to let me come to her. When the guy likes the girl, it works.

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  • YUUUUUUUP!

    If we see a leash we will bolt. Don't be trying to pin us down early.

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    • If we let you go without a fight will you come back?

    • Well it depends. Commitment phoebes are usually afraid of the feeling that they are losing their freedom, so if you give said guy his freedom and don't act like a clingy overbearing female. Chances are he will not see you as a threat to his freedom and you don't have to worry about him leaving in the first place.

What Girls Said 1

  • "Too soon" to me means in the first few weeks... after that, if genuine feelings are developing, there's nothing wrong with asking where you're at. If he's a grown up, and he likes you, it shouldn't scare him off. If it DOES scare him off after a month or so off seeing each other, then he's either not that into you, or has some personal issues with commitment... either way, it'd be a good opportunity to move on and look for someone else because you're probably not going to get what you're looking for out of it.

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