Why do I prefer emotionally unavailable guys?

I feel safer and more attracted to men who I know won't marry me. Not men who are committed to another woman. men who are players. Very assertive and bold. It feels more comfortable to me.

Updates:
Well deep down im scared to open up emotionally. I feel more comfortable opening up sexually and connecting with my body. I grew up with verbal and emotional abuse

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Finally! A woman who admits to enjoying being treated like shit!

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What Guys Said 14

  • Finally, a girl with some truth;) Im trying to be more assertive and more bolder of late. But just be careful, true companionship is hard to find. But my advice to a youngster like you is to not care, have fun and be safe until you feel you want to settle.

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  • Damn, you're opening up a lot and seem pretty reflective considering what you shared. I have no idea, but I think a therapist is perfect for this kind of question. A lot of people are sketched out by the idea of therapy, but I've had a few therapy sessions. It was just chatting about life while we went and got a smoothie. It was pretty helpful and fun. I recommend it.

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  • then i'd assume you're afraid of marriage basically ;-)

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  • you like the challenge

    or you're psycotic

    maybe both :/

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  • Either you like a challenge,

    or you are afraid to open up emotionally so u chase guys that u feel won't seek anything emotional.

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  • Don't worry, you're not the only one who has problems with emotionally connecting. When you find the right guy, your soul mate, you'll find stuff like this easier. It is also a possibility that sex is how you connect and you need a guy who does the same.

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  • This is the all very typical case of the good guys finishing last, then you wonder why that same man your attracted to, is emotionally unavailable... lol the irony in that huh

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  • the reason is simple. you are afraid of commitment you dont want to suffer the feelings from being hurt if it doesn't work out but you still want the benefit of being in a relationship

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  • People never just want to take things that come easy they always have to find away to make it hard

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  • Probably because you are messed up yourself.

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  • because you just haven't met the "one" yet. Not many of them around.

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  • cool. crazy is the norm today...

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  • Damaged I suppose, and most likely whorish in lifestyle.

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  • We will never know the answer to your question but it's nice to see a woman honest enough to admit it for a change.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I've only been into the opposite type so...
    I cannot relate.
    "I grew up with verbal and emotional abuse "
    Oh, that explains it.
    In the end all of us accept the love we think we deserve.
    I believe you need to fix a couple of things about yourself before you start dating. Otherwise, you will keep harming yourself and the worst part of it is that you will secretly enjoy it.

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  • Don't we all?

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