Back burner girl, how to cope?

To be completely honest, I have a full time job, I have pets, I have hobbies, but I still feel lonely. I want a real relationship not just go on dates. It seems to me that guys have more options than females... they date and pick from so many girls and for whatever reasons they would date me, text me, and fade out on me when they find someone they like better... I am just the in the mean time girl. I feel so rejected and deflated from dating, it distract me from enjoying my daily routines... how to cope?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I find in general girls have more options when there younger , guys have more options when there older. you need to find guys who are more serious about dating maybe or have more in common with you so feel more of a reason to stay in touch

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    • Well I never was playing the field... I dated my first boyfriend for 14 years, but it didn't work out, then another guy for 1.5 years. I have had only 2 options, at least in my head... where do you think I can look for someone who is more serious?

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    • Thanks I tried to talk to a girl in the gym today... apparently even girl doesn't want to talk to a girl in gym, was so awkward. Will definitely look into classes...

    • the gym is weird , I find its a lot of random people there I don't know or know what to talk to them about. it someone I already knew from real life walked into the gym I'd say hi and talk to them but some random person I'm lost what to say to them

What Guys Said 3

  • Hey your getting attention from them so that means you are beautiful and you can have a boyfriend you just might need to take the intuitive and hit on guys. I don't have a girlfriend and I want a relationship really badly but problem is I'm bad at telling when I'm being flirted with and every time I ask a girl out I get rejected

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  • From what you've written, i think the guys you date are the problem here. I think they just want to get laid. Don't feel bad about yourself.

    Have you ever heard of the 36 questions? Maybe you could try that.

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    • I just looked that up. Thank you, I will try that when I manage to find someone reasonable to go on date with again... it is so hard to even have a reasonable person to go on date with.

    • I sincerely hope you find someone.

    • Me too :)

  • Where do you live?

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    • New Mexico

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    • Most interest groups I attend such as public speaking, games, and crafts groups have just tons of married people or full of 50+ year old ladies. I guess I need to develop more manly interests? What are men interested in besides body building and really physical intensive activities?

    • "Manly" interests? Well I don't know about manly but let's face it, not many guys will join a craft club. If you are religious then go to church or syn or whatever.

      Maybe join some sort of pet-related club? Maybe 4 H?

What Girls Said 1

  • Widen your field of vision. Try venues you haven't before and other ethnicities.
    I totally relate

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    • Thank you. Could you share with me, what are some venues you have tried that you found to be very helpful and enjoyable?

    • Anything off the beaten path. If you like book join a book club. Go hiking, Golf, join a dating site. You get the picture.

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