So I like this guy a lot, we get along and age is not a problem for him.. do you think it's wrong or it will never work? and I don't have daddy issues
I'm 17 and he is 42?
What Guys Said 54
I hate to be a naysayer but I'm 33 and I don't see how I could have a relationship with a 17 year-old. let's forget the fact that in most places it is completely illegal, the biggest issues to me is that two people nearly 30 years apart in age are simply different people. they (should) do different things, see life differently, have different life experiences and see life from a totally different perspective.
A 17 year old simply doesn't have the experience necessary to date someone that much older0
speaking from observations...
older men only want younger women for a couple of reasons...
1) arm candy, show off that they can still get a young girl
2) sex.. sex... & sex...
3) control the girl, older women tend to be a pain in the butt for these men so they think that it's easier with a younger girl because she won't be against anything he says since he's older...
do you really want to spend your precious time with someone like that?
God made you for someone even better.. regardless of what you think or people say to you, you are precious, beautiful, smart, funny, & kind...
are you going to waste your precious energy, emotions, & being on someone who only wants you to fulfill his own selfish desires?3
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he's going to pass away WAYYYY before you do. also its going to look totally weird in society. people are going to make assumptions about you two. that gap is just fucking huge. I've never seen something like that successfully work out before.2
LOL!!! hahahahaha The world is crazier than I thought! Age is not a problem for him. Of course it isn't. If I wanted to get in your pants I would say the same thing. You can't get more naive. Go on girl, it will wok. Don't worry. You won't hurt your feelings in no way.3
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The problem is there is a rule or law and he ignores it. Age is a factor because he ignores the rules. A simple rule but speaks volumes to his thinking. Something is wrong with him.2
You wouldn't be posting on here if it didn't bother you in SOME way. Don't date a guy whose twice your age. You need to think why isn't he dating someone closer to his age? Something must be wrong with him in some regard if he can only date girls who aren't even 18 yet... DON'T waste your YOUTH on him... don't3
I'm 26 and even I wouldn't date a 17 or 18 year old - it's too close to being a kid to me, and there is no way we could relate personality-wise.2
My rule would be if they're double your age and over, don't try it.3
I'm sorry, but what the hell would a 42 year old man want anything to do with a girl that is still developing throughout her life? That's pretty creepy.1
You by law are not an adult!!! This is not appropriate. Hang with guys around your age.
And what is this guy doing around 17 year olds? Seems pretty wrong to me.3
He's 4 times your age it won't work...4
It won't work0
Wait till your the age of consent, till him if he truly loves you he should wait till you are old enough to date him. It's for your own safety.1
lol. doesn't work of course and if there is no problem for him, there is a definitely problem with him2
In all honesty I do not think it would work very well. Also it might impact your relationships with your friends and family. If you want to date an older guy I suggest looking for a 22 rather than a 42. This has a more realistic long term outlook.
Also, the above only applies if the age of consent where you live is 17 or under.0
That's literally like dating your father, a definate no, it's a horrid idea.2
We're talking about true love here LMFAO. That's disgusting1
No young lady
Sorry to say it won't work.
Age difference is too much. You guys can never settle for same things in life.1
In 8 years he will be 50 and you in your twnties won't work different lifestyles0
holy hannah... thats one hell of an age gap. i doubt it will work. they almost never do0
IF you have to ask if this was appropriate then it speaks volumes about you and your intelligence level.0
At some point you will wake up though.2
That's a little too much for me...
I really don't think that could work, but you never know.1
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What Girls Said 43
I do think it's wrong and it most likely won't work. I know you feel like a well rounded person right now who knows what they want and who they are but honestly, you still have a lot of self discovery to do and it's very easy to let someone mould you into a mini version of them. It's also very easy for a 40+ man to manipulate a young 17 year old, which often takes place. He knows you're young and naive, he knows you'll be complicit about things and he knows he can influence you. You should also question why a 42 year old man feels the need to date a 17 year old, maybe he knows women his age won't be interested in him for a reason you haven't seen or aren't aware of yet.
I know people say "age is just a number" but that's often about people who are actually adults (like 21+), dating someone older than them or women who date men younger than them. It's basically saying to break those social norms that the man has to be older than the woman. The saying doesn't condone paedophilia which is what you're border-lining. Most people would not agree with it, especially your parents who know more about the real world than you do.
Me and my ex broke up a month ago, my ex was nearly two years younger than me and we broke up because we felt we got together at the wrong age, he wanted to party, live life to the full, he wasn't ready for commitment and wanted to experience new things whilst I was more ready to settle down. He was just 18. I'm turning 20 next month and I'm still learning about who I am and I don't know what I'm going to do in life. I recommend you get with someone who's in a similar life stage as you and is of a similar age.1
That's disgusting af. It will never work.6
Errrm... Reaaaaaaalllly don't think that's a good idea.
There's nothing saying it won't work but nothing saying it will work.
It's up to you but I don't think it's the best of plans myself. Purely because you're going to be going to school/getting your first job/maybe considering children/going out partying and socialising, and he'll be making mortgage and pension payments. You just aren't in the same place in life.
Generally speaking with any large age gap, I'm always surprised they work, but it requires two people to be in a similar point in life.
As an example, my best friend is 28 and she's dating a 21 year old. She has Crohns Disease and cannot work full time, so she wants to stay at home and party and be a housewife. He wants to go to work and start a career and have someone to come home to who's cooked him dinner. So it works.
I'm just saying that given your ages (and no other information) it won't work based on stereotypes.0
Oh shit... it doesn't sound like something your family's going to like at all. Also, what the hell can you see in a man that much older than you? Please, don't think I'm hating - you know, live and let live - but you can't have much in common. If it's anything beyond just a physical relationship you'll probably have a lot of issues with such a big age difference. Just my take on it, though. I wouldn't want one of my daughters involved with a man old enough to be their father. Its just... creepy.3
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I'm not being mean but society will see him as a pervert they say if you are 18 years old and up the appropriate age gap is 15 and under nothing passed it, I would wait if I was you, and then knowing his age and yours he will get jealous. Love changes people he will say he won't but he will because it's natural for people to get jealous.0
I think you shouldn't do it. 27 and 50 okay but not 17 and 42. I think he might be using you. You might not see it because you like him but he may be a little bit a pedophile?
You are both in very differnet stages of life, you are probably still studying while he has a job and lots of experiences in life. I don't think that it would work by time time you are ready to start a family he will probably be old enough to be a granddad.
+ You mention that this is your first boyfriend? Don't do it, you will regret it.
I hope you find someone of your own agelevel (is that even a word), it will be so much nicer!0
People here speak of 'legal reasons' and shit, but age of consent varies around countries. In the UK it is 16, for instance.
That aside, it might work out - but it is unlikely to. There is a large age gap that would make it difficult for it to work. He is more experienced in life than you are and men choose younger women for various reasons but it usually isn't a good thing, sadly. If he loves you for who you are and not your age then that is good, but be aware that he might just want someone who he can manipulate easily as younger women tend to agree with an older man's opinion more.
Maybe that is not the case. I don't really know your situation. If you want to be with him, go for it. It is likely to end in the end but it might work for some time. Do what you feel is right... so long as it's legal, that is lol.0
In high school I didn't like guys my age. I've always been attracted to older guys because they were always more mature than the guys at my school (plus if you broke up you wouldn't have to see them at school all the time). Im 20 now and since I was 15 I've dated older guys. when I was 16 I dated a 20 year old, a 23 year old and then a 24 year old. Oldest for me was when I was 17 I dated a 30yr old. Yes you guys might get along and everything but you have to realize he is 42 and you are only 17;you haven't really experienced much ESPECIALLY when it comes to adult relationships. in my opinion everyone younger than 19 should really be careful when it comes to relationships because I realized I didn't know what love was at that age. I didn't actually know what it meant to love and be loved back equally so I'd give a lot and get not as much in return (without even realizing it because I wasn't as experienced as the older guys I dated and blinded by my "feelings"). Keep in mind that he's old enough to be your father and is waaaay more experienced than you are at life in general. Don't rush into anything you aren't ready for. And try to make adult decisions; what I mean by that is clear-headed decisions so try to cut out your feelings. If you see something going on that you dont like, talk about it. If he doesn't want to change, or compromise then don't stay. Dont stay with someone that is mistreating you just because you love them. Everyone deserves to be happy and if your SO doesn't care about your happiness and well-being you shouldn't stay. But I do believe that age is just a number (for the crowd of 18+). Once you're of age you should date whoever you connect with no matter the age.
Just look at it from your own perspective if you had kids though. Would you think a 42 y/o man with your 17 y/o daughter is the ideal situation? Or would you want to find out exactly why they were interested in your child? I think you should take the same approach to your own situation. Good luck, be safe..0
Of course the age isn't an issue for him. He has an inexperienced, naive, beautiful girl that believes everything he tells her.1
I think that's a little too much of an age gap. Plus, he's been through life, had so many experiences to become who he is now.
As for you, you're going to change a lot in the next few years and come into your own. You may end up becoming a completely different person than you are now, at that point, it may not work.0
He is taking advantage of your naivety.2
Is it legal for you to do so? If it is, you may as well try it. Just don't let him take advantage of you, have him meet your parents, be decent about it, you know?0
I'd say you're too young, and then there's a huge age difference... I know true love is stronger than age differences... but yeah... usually it doesn't work out that great with that big age difference.1
What is up with all these teenage girls on here getting with guys that could be their freaking dad? No it won't work tbh and you seem a bit naive.0
That is seriously so bad. Like he is old enough to be your dad...
And why does he want women more than half his age younger?1
Too young. I feel like if you're under 18 then there shouldn't be a huge age gap. Then there's a risk of parents not approving, or things not working working out. Then there's a possibility of the situation turning nasty. I feel like if there was to be a big age gap. Ten years or what ever, then the people entering it should be adults and mature enough to handle it.0
He is waytoo old, when guys at that age tries to date 17 yo girls I would see them as predator2
Far too much but who knows. I dated my guy when I was 19 and he was 40. I'm 23 and we're still together. At his age he may want to settle down and you want to enjoy life. That is a few things we dealt and still deal with0
No.. He's like the same age as some of your teachers. I think it would work out if the guy was in his early 20's.0
Ummmmmmm woah so you like a guy around your dad's age? What ever floats your boat homegirl.1
A relationship is fine, but if you two plan on having sex, wait until you're 18, or the legal age in your country.0
ummm first you're not legal so that's kind of a big issue
and second you're 17, i mean you got college (parties included) and your whole life ahead of you. this guys is 42 and probably has other goals in life.0
Okay if that's what you want but just remember that he's old enough to be your father1
It is a little strange, but hey, love prevails above all.0
I don't think it's a good idea because you are both not at the same place in life. He could basically be your dad. When you are 40 he won't be able to do much anymore and you will want to explore life, travel.0
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