I have to initiate all touch with my boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a week. Not that long, but thats when we officially started dating, it was assumed (by ourselves and others) we were dating a few days before that. The day we officially started dating it was during this charity thing and you could pay to buy out of the last class of the day and go to the auditorium to watch a movie. We both did. I was holding this cup that was mostly empty at that point and he said why are you holding that? and i was like uhhhh idk??? he takes it from me and holds my hand and says you should hold this instead. (SO CUTE RIIGHTTT?!?!?!?) We talk about the movie and about halfway through we werent really talking anymore and i put my head on his shoulder and he puts his head on mine. that hand holding is the only time HE has touched ME all the other times that we have hugged or held hands it was ME that touched HIM. we only held hands 1 other time and i fell pretty hard a few days ago and my arm still hurts and i was complaining about it to him and i was like you should probably hold my hand so i dont fall again and mess everything up worse and he was like oh? okay good idea and we held hands going down the hall and before like 2 days ago we hugged a lot because ya know i like touching him he's my boyfriend i hugged him a lot but i stopped to see if he would hug me and he hasn't
i think im his first girlfriend
and on his phone the lock screen says I LOVE ABBY on it soooo?????
whats up why do i have to start everything? is he just nervous or what?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There are two reasons for his behavior:

    1. He is nervous, and feels like he doesn't have permission to touch you if you don't touch hik first. Just give it time and he will become more comfortable around you.

    Or...

    2. He is one of those guys who likes to be 'mothered'. Guys like this need a lot of affection, but will refrain themselves, just because they WANT you to initiate so that they feel wanted. They like to feel like you are taking care of them- almost like a mother would (except a type of care from relationships instead).

    Either way, the best thing you can do is just continue to initiate until he starts to either become more comfortable around you, or realizes that he needs to initiate half of the time to take some pressure off of you.

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    • ew i dont wanna be his mom thats gross

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    • so like @jackpack said be blunt and tell him he has permission to touch me and if that still doesn't fix it just be the man for a while?

    • Yeah, that's the best you can do

What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah just nervous nothing to worry about. Tell him you like when he initiates touching

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    • how do i tell him that? should i just be blunt about it that i want him to touch me more? and how should i start talking about it?

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    • I understand :)

      Pretty much the advice I give you its to just tell him you like it when he touches you first.

    • okay so *flips through notes* ask him to touch me more and be blunt about it
      dont ask him to call me pretty just drop little hints like do i look good in this? dont be blunt about that part
      this is what i should do?

What Girls Said 1

  • He's probably nervous, and he's probably not a touchy person. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you because from what you've said he really does like you. You've found a nice guy. :)

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    • he lets me touch him all i want though and im certain he likes it i think he just wants me to be the man in the relationship lol

    • @Asker that's sorta what i meant when i said 'mother' him.

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