Guys, how do you feel about a girl who has an STD?

I found out I got herpes. And I don't know what to do. My doctor says with condoms and when nothing is going on down there, I have almost no chance of spreading it. It makes me feel dirty and gross but I haven't had sex with more than 2 people. And never randomly. I'm afraid guys will never want to sleep with me after hearing this and I don't know if I'll find someone to settle down with and have a relationship with because this will scare him off. It would for me. please, I don't want to hear anything mean, I feel shitty about it enough/:


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I assume your doc gives you medication to help keep breakouts from happening and to lower risk of transmission? Dating may be a little tough for awhile. You don't have to tell people you meet on the first date about it because then it comes off like you're obsessed about it. But you definitely need to tell them before you guys do any sexual interaction with your genitals. Some people might leave. Herpes is apparently more of just an inconvenience but because it's considered an std it has a stigma still. Lots of people have genital herpes. It's way more common then you might think. While I would feel more hesitant I wouldn't just up and leave a girl I really like because of it. I'd just do my research and take proper precautions.

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    • Thank you for trying to lighten it but I realized I shouldn't have asked. It makes me feel worse about it now that I think of it

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    • and what happens when he Leaves. Which he will. He couldn't possibly like me enough to be okay to deal with that.
      And that's what makes me angry. The stats. I bet you half the people that would walk away, could have it and they wouldn't even know. How unfair

    • Not all guys are oblivious to what herpes actually is. There are guys who will stay.

What Guys Said 5

  • didn't you have protected sex? i mean did you use condoms with those two guys?

    cause i wouldn't wanna catch it too... but if it is not spreadable then its ok,... and it also depends how much i am into you... i am sure a guy who loves who won't mind...

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  • I don't want to catch anything from anyone. I don't know if herpes will go away, I don't know anything about it. but you should tell all the people you date, if you are going to have sex with them, it's only fair

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  • I'm not interested in being with someone with herpes. Sure, condoms can help prevent it but it's not perfect and I don't want to risk it. Sorry.

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  • personally, no I wouldn't want that. But, there are guys out there that are ok with it but just want no sex life with u in case. This is why u don't have unprotected sex unless u are going for a kid. sry but im just trying to tell the cold hard facts. I know of a person who had an STD but they found a way to stablize it for a while so that the couple could have kids. it was successful and they had 2 kids who were perfectly healthy without STDs.

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    • Condoms don't prevent herpes very well. Condoms only cover the penis. But if the rest of your crotch touches your partners crotch (Which is most likely going to happen during sex) and they have herpes, the condom won't have made much of a difference.

  • Shiiiiiiiit. Thing is, if you settle down with someone who has herpies... you're gonna get herpies. That's just a thing. Like say you have a boyfriend for 5 years. 1 broken condom, one drunken night, one slip up and boom. Fuck that's rough.

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    • The thing is, if everything is normal down there, it's mit typically spread so in reality, it would, I'm sure take more tha one time.. but I see what you're saying. It's rough

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