Guys, how much texting is too much?

I recently met this guy through a dating site... seemed like an introvert. So, I initiated a conversation, we hit it off, he called me the first night and we talked through the night...He texted the next day and wanted to meet up.

After our first date, I texted him to tell him thank you and that I had a nice time...we texted a bit.

I sent him a text about something we had discussed when we met late the next day - I got no response
I messaged him the next day - and we chatted very briefly
I asked him to meet again after a two days - we met again (I thought the date went well, despite me having some ditzy moments). We texted a little that night
I messaged him the next day - I got no response
I left it be for a 4-5 days...I texted him asking if he wanted to meet up over the weekend as I was in his area...he responded to another detail of the text and ignored the meet request.

Did I text too much and scare him off? Or is he just not interested? Should I just give up and move on? I don't have much experience with "relationships" with men so I often can't read the signs. The last thing I want is to become that person who constantly texts and tries when the person is not interested. Please advice.


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Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 3

  • It depends on the guy really. Different guys, different tolerances. Some like constant texting, others like it spaced out. One extra one is (and this is mine) sending multiple short texts, instead of cramming all of it in one. Its irritating and I tend not to reply for long periods.
    In your case, I think you should reiterate the meet again. If he ignores it again, then be worried. Its sometimes easy to forget some parts of texts because the other part stuck out more. Selective reading.

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    • Well I did send him a text later that day wanting to confirm if he was down for the meet... But got radio silence. In addition, he claims he is a nightowl and only wants to meet at night. And due to his disability, the few times we met he wanted to stay in his car. So its hard to coordinate a time to just meet.

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    • You think it's even worth it? I am not sure if he is even interested.

    • Its only been a few days, you gotta ride the wave for a little while before making that decision. If down the road, you constantly have to adjust to his schedule but he doesn't adjust to yours, its definitely not worth it then. No give and take from the beginning is always a bad sign.

  • if its constant back and forth from both parties then its never too much. if you're texting ratio is 4:1 then its too much.

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    • Well I don't know... its tough for me to gauge. I gave him mixed signals the two times we met. I do stupid things when nervous. He also recently got disabled and wanted to always meet at night and stay in his car. He was a perfect gentleman. From all that he said he is an introvert/nerd. So not sure if I am coming on too strong and scared him off or if he is just not interested. He does 60% of my texts. Maybe he feels like i took the chase away from him?

    • its possible, some guys like the challenge of the chase, it makes reaping the rewards much more satisfying and adds value. he could just have that personality of a nerd though. keep trying.

  • I always enjoy when girl texts me first, the only way I feel texting is too much is if she is constantly texting me over the smallest things and the conversation does not continue naturally

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