What questions to ask a girl to find out if she sleeps around?

I've been seeing a girl who has a lot of male friends, and I wonder if she's the kind to sleep around a lot.

Basically I'd like to find out about her values regarding monogamy, opposite-sex friendships and cheating.

What would be the best way to find out, in order for her to be open and honest about it instead of telling me what she thinks I want to hear?

I'm not too judgmental as long as everything is clear and honest from the start.

How should I go about it? Are there any signs I should look for? (We've been dating and sleeping together once every week for a few weeks)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you've been dating and sleeping together for a few weeks and you're still asking this question, I think something is either off about her or about you. Most people can get a sense about the others' values just from spending time together. So if you're still worried after being this close together, she's either giving you good reason to worry, or you have a particular insecurity over this issue that you need to look within yourself about.

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    • Hey, thanks for your quick answer. I do have a lot of insecurities on the subject due to my parents cheating history. The girl has been really nice, and might be wanting to develop something serious with me.
      But I won't want to if it turns out that she slept with her male friends. Because it's not my place to tell her to stop seeing them and if there's some history with them, than it won't disappear overnight, even if we commit to each other.

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    • I get that. And again if it helps to get perspective about myself? I've been tested like 5 different times. Twice before I was even having actual sex, because I'm really health conscious and worried about guys lying to me. Also because I found out my ex hadn't been tested, so I feel an enormous weight to be responsible for everyone.

      I've also been with only a few people in my life and lost my virginity at age 20. So by just asking about my getting tested, I would seem like I slept around, when really I'm just paranoid. I'd think by telling you that, you'd think I was responsible. A guy telling me he doesn't get tested much make ME think he's irresponsible and probably has something he doesn't know about lol

      It's all about perspective.

    • Very interesting... She might indeed just be as paranoid as you are. I was picturing her having drunk unprotected sex then going to get tested. It seems I'll have to talk to her about past short term relationships to see if she shares some stories of her own. I hope she won't think I'm trying to compare her though. I usually don't like talking about exes.

What Girls Said 1

  • dont ask blatantly just talk about her past relationships and listen to what she says carefully. shell be saying that about you

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    • Thanks! We already talked a little about past relationships, but only the long term ones.

What Guys Said 2

  • If she is no-strings with you, she's likely no-strings with others. That's the way to bet to begin with.

    If you want to know more without directly asking her, start talking about some adventures you've had with exes. Chances are she'll start talking about hers.

    Watch what she says about exes, what she valued about them. If it was their money, if she was one of many girl friends her exes had, then she's for sale..

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    • Hey thank you for your answer. In doubt, that's the way I've been thinking, as we didn't mention exclusivity at all.
      So you're saying I should be talking about some short term adventures, like one night stands to get her to share her stories?
      She did talk a bit about some of her past long term relationships, and it seemed quite normal, she doesn't seem like a gold digger (often insists on paying her part or more on some occasions).
      She went on a short trip a while ago and I think she might have slept with some guy there, not sure. (anyway it was the beginning so it's not a big deal)

    • Yes, if you tell some funny stories, she will likely start telling hers. If she doesn't, it's likely because she is ashamed of them, which already tells you something. Plus, she will catch on that you are politely and indirectly asking about her relationship status and history.

  • If she's the toy for the boys then she's probably already slept with her lads or they could be her ex-boyfriends, there is after all a reason to be around that many guys.

    Since you've slept together, have you checked if she had "batwings"? That's a common/easy tell-tale sign about her lifestyle or her past without asking any questions.

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    • WTF are bat wings? lol

    • The meatflaps, majolabrea, whatever the hell it (or the official nickname) is called.

    • Haha she does have small "batwings", thanks for your answer

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