Should I break up with GF over this?

Was just told by a mutual friend that previous to my GF (of 2 months) and I actually becoming "official" that she was visiting a friend of hers at school (20th bday party) and she may or may not have hooked up with an ex-fling. This all happened while we were just "talking" but we had been on a few dates with the 1 the day before this trip....and 2 weeks after this trip of hers we became "exclusive". This mutual friend told me to check her messages if I didn't believe her so regrettably I did and found that she invited him back to her friend's apartment when she visited; no excuses but she was drunk. Long story short I brought up the trip and asked her if she hooked up with anyone to which she said no, but she did admit to this ex-fling coming to her friend's apartment late the one night ON HIS OWN but she claims she wouldn't let him in AND she 100% denied inviting him back. Obviously I was seriously hurt for her to sit there and lie to my face about inviting the guy back but I couldnt bring myself to tell her I read the messages.

Im really conflicted here....technically speaking she didn't cheat on me because at that point we had gone on a couple of dates and not offically together....but part of me questions her character 1) because she just kied to my face and 2)because the same night she invited this guy back she called me saying how much she missed me and couldnt wait to get home.

Do I have a right to be mad and if yes should I end things? Or should I let this go?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Let it go. You weren't official, so she had every right to fuck with anyone she wanted. You're being insecure.

    As for lying to you: Cut the shit. Honestly, why would she want to tell you who she has or hasn't fucked? All that would make you do--is behave like you're behaving right now. She didn't want to hurt your feelings--it wasn't like she was hiding cheating on you (although it does indicate that she thinks you wouldn't be able to handle the truth--which you clearly can't).

    Let it go.

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    • Well said... needed that

What Girls Said 1

  • Feelings are feelings, so it's not wrong to feel upset.. but honestly, what she did wasn't wrong and if you like the girl you should let it go. By asking her about it you kinda put her in a position where she felt like she had to lie, so I wouldn't judge her general character off of that.

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What Guys Said 2

  • In my opinion she did nothing (terribly) wrong. You weren't yet in a relationship, she was obviously confused at that time (she liked you but still had feelings for her ex) and she didn't want to tell you the truth.

    You have to make one rule though: be totally honest with each other. Yes, we sometimes do stupid things, but it's much better to hear it from your partner than some friend.

    So, you can either let it go completely (my advice) or you can confront her with your findings. But don't forget, YOU will have to apologize as well for intruding her privacy. She lied about her past (you weren't a couple then, right?), but you spied on her when already in relationship. You decide which is worse.

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  • Don't end it but I would ask her why she lied? And did this friend actually there and see if she did hookup with him? Does this friend have anything to gain if the two of you broke up?

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