My boyfriend doesn't let me hold his hand in public?

We walk around like buddies he never let me hold his hand in public, or hug, or kiss. One time I tried to hug him in public because he told me he was accepted to a very good university so natural reaction I jumped to hug him and he pushed me away saying it's public and everyone stared at him :/ We live in the US, he's an international student from Korea claiming it's part of his culture that we don't hold hand in public and I need to respect that. What? Do I have to repeat? WE ARE LIVING IN THE USA NOT KOREA! What do I do now? Everyone holds their partner's hand and I'm like :/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Cultural differences are strong. I believe, also in Korea, it's safe to leave your baby alone for short periods of time. Strangers won't ever harm them, and may even look after them and feed them in your absense. You always start your meal after your elders and never leave the table before them.

    Tell him you want him to feel comfortable with you, and you'll take as much time as he feels he needs. Ask him if he can meet you halfway, with baby steps. Suggest something small (like just hand holding), or ask him for his suggestion.

    Don't rush it. If he's going to be living in America for a while, he should feel learn how to feel comfortable with some of the customs; just give him the space he needs.

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    • I gave him 1 year already... And nothing changes.

      I tried holding his hands, and every single time I do it, he pushes me away and everybody looks at him. One time this woman approached us and tell him "You don't treat women like that" and he couldn't understand her English :/

What Guys Said 2

  • I have no idea, I don't mind doing things like that. I tried holding my ex's and she said "Let hi if my hand I'm not a child". And that's coming from a girl.

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  • it disgust me

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What Girls Said 2

  • You might be living in the US but this is the way he's always been told. He can't randomly change because he lives in a different country. He doesn't like pda and you have to accept it

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    • Holding hand is not that much of pda. All couples hold hands duhhh. Why do I have to accept his culture but he doesn't accept my culture?

    • Duhhh? If you can't accept it don't date him. It's the way he is, if it makes him uncomfortable you should be able to understand that.

    • It makes me uncomfortable we're acting like strangers in public as well. Why don't he care that I'm uncomfortable?

  • I have known and read a lot of articles about Koreans. They are very respectful to their elders and tbh some likes skinships and some don't cause they might feel uncomfortable. It can also be due to the fact that you guys have different cultures - people in the USA are more open to such touching and hugging but he might not be even though he is. You could try to tell him that you how you feel

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