What about this double standard?

If a guy is a downer, girls say "I don't want to be someone's babysitter. I don't have to put up with your shit!"

If a girl is a downer, girls say "I have my flaws, I'm just human. I need someone who can handle me!"

I was talking to my girlfriend about this, and she just realized what a stupid double standard this is. I'm a natural downer(childhood bullying), and although I'm trying my hardest to overcome this train wreck of a problem, I always have her support when I have my emotional crisis. I do the same thing back to her when she's down.

I mean, how do you girls explain this? Why do you rather find someone who fixes you, rather than try it yourselves?

And please, don't use the "be a man" argument, even men have their issues, men aren't made of steel(although we shouldn't use it as an excuse not to improve ourselves).


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Most Helpful Girl

  • what do you mean by downer? you cry a lot?

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    • Being negative

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    • I mean, that caps lock really gave it away...
      Yeah, not really. Changing society's perspective on things is not as easy as that. It requires cooperation, which people aren't very fond of.

    • we can't italisize, so I used caps instead.

What Girls Said 1

  • It's definitely a double standard, I think in general it's just more difficult for a man to have someone to talk to, have feelings openly or an outlet because they are expected to "be a man", I wish that would change for men.

    Being around a person who is down and whiny all of the time is extremely annoying though, male or female.

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    • Yes, it is. I always put myself in the other person's shoes in every situation, and I completely understand it.

      Same. I wish that this double standard disappeared, but this would also give a slight advantage for the weak, mediocre ones an excuse not to fight back, but it's still a bummer for a guy who wants to improve himself, which isn't easy...

What Guys Said 1

  • It's only a double standard if you accept the rules of her game. It's called being selfish and there are enough selfish people to go around for all of us. Laugh at them and cut them lose of they want to play that game.

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