Getting a girl that is out of my league?

Just as the question says, there are plenty of times where I see a girl that is off the scale at least when it comes to looks. I have a hard time already talking to girls that I might think are average. How can I approach these girls without coming off as a complete loser and actually having some type of success? Also hopefully keeping them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey man, aside from a very small population (the genuine professional female model population), leagues are subjective on the most part.

    Have you never seen a beautiful girl, told your mates how incredibly cute and sexy she is, only to have them answer that she's a 6 or 7 at most?

    It's the same the other way around. If you take good care of yourself, are not too over or underweight, you're probably an 8 for some girls, or a 3 for other girls.

    Now the interesting part is what happens when you met a girl, that you see as an 8, and who sees you as an 8 or 9?
    You could easily be intimidated and think you'd have no chance. And leave the girl disappointed.
    That's why you should ideally treat every girl you're interested in as if their looks were nothing. As if you're not easily impressed. Keep in mind that she might not be interested for a lot of reasons.
    You must never show any sign that you think she's out of your league. It's usually game over if you do, no matter how attractive or unattractive the girl is. Instead, act, (or better, think or KNOW) that leagues are subjective, and that she might find you more handsome than you think you are. Also, even the models, the 10, have insecurities about something.
    But as a man, you're NOT allowed to have insecurities if you want to be successful. Got big lips? It's way better for her when she kisses you. Got a huge nose? It only serves to make you attainable otherwise you'd be way too sexy.
    You get the point. Maybe you'll read this and think that's easy to say, but if you OWN those things, the girl won't even see it or care about it.
    I have small eyes and used to be insecure about it. Turned out quite a few girls said they loved it, that it was sexy and mysterious. Now I'm totally convinced that's the case.

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    • For the actual approach, the way I do things is I improved my appearance and am still maximizing it. Then what's left to do is to read the girls' interest signs. No signs? No problem I keep living my life.
      If she stares? I stare back and give them a warm smile after about 3 seconds. She smiles back? Game on. Go over there and tell her you find her cute and she seems like a girl you'd like to know. What you talk about after that depends on your interests, the situation, the context, etc. But always read her signs, even (or especially) when you're talking to her.
      If you're in doubt and get weird signals, like her standing next to you for no reason, try to go about it more indirectly, asking for something, then drifting toward a normal conversation.
      At some point tell her she seems interesting, and that you should go have a drink some time. At that point she'll either say yes, hesitate a bit, or say no.

    • If she smiled back at you at first, she'll probably just go along. Then just take your phone, get it to the contacts menu, enter her name, then hand her your phone. You don't even have to ask for her number, just hand her your phone and let her type her number. Once she has, either call her on the spot for her to have your number, or better, wait a few hours, then text her a simple text as "Hey, this is (name), save this number"
      That's for the approach, to keep her, I'm still working it out haha.

      Good luck

What Girls Said 2

  • You shouldn't think anyone is out of your league. It's all about your confidence level. As long as you know you're the best you can be, what males her better? The women you think are just so incredible could have deep insecurities and not see themselves as you see them. Girls master the art of poker faces. We can act like we're prissy and too good but inside, we feel inferior and like shit most of the time but people can't show insecurities to strangers, for many will use that to their advantage. A confident woman demands respect. Whether it be a 10 or a 2.

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  • They're just like every other girl. Treat them as such.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You just gotta show that your interested and hope she has the same feeling for you.

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