How to pursue a shy guy?

So I met this guy in one of my college classes a few weeks ago, lets call him Seb. I ended up inviting him and few of the friends we'd made in the class to a party at my house. Unfortunately none of our friends could come so he brought one of his, which was fine with me because I didn't want him to be lonely. Anyway, Seb's friend was trying to set us up the whole night, saying things like "What a cute couple" and asking me if I would hook up with Seb, which I didn't mind because I had a crush on him anyway. One thing lead to the next (with the help of of alcohol) and we ended up sleeping together. I know, I know not the best idea.

We've been texting a little since but he always takes ages to reply and I'm always the one to initiate. His friends have told me though that he's really bad at replying to messages and that is also very shy around girls but he thinks I'm really cute.

I personally don't really get this shyness factor when I'm around him though, I mean we ended up having a few drinks at the college bar last week and we were practically sitting on top of each other and playing with each others hands all night.

Just wondering if you have any suggestions of whether he actually likes me? And if so, what should be my next move?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes he does like you and he is just shy. A guy's shyness is simply a lack of social skills nothing more. It is not a reflection on you or his level of attraction to you. I would simply get him alone tell him what an AMAZING time you have with him and ask him out on a date. With shy guys sometimes (like in this case) if you don't make the first move nothing serious will ever happen.

    A couple tips for being around us shy guys including Seb. Do not get nervous if there are awkward pauses in the conversation (and trust me there will be). Us shy guys feel pressure from many women to be this amazing conversationalist like guys in the movies or Sex and The City, and women often judge us when we aren't. If you are nervous he might well take it to mean you are judging him for his lack of social skills, which you aren't. The point is to be comfortable with each other, and to make him feel like you like being around HIM, even though his conversational skills are not the best.

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  • It sounds like you were a one night stand, sorry

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