Hello, I was wondering how to overcome my fears of approaching girls. I'm almost 21, and still does not have enough guts to go toward a girl and say simply a "hi" so easily. It is really frustating at this point in my life, since obviously if I do not overcome that step there will never be a girlfriend in my whole life.
I did mention a girlfriend, but since I've never gone out with girls even as friend I don't really think I'll be able to have a girlfriend at this point in my life.
As for my romantic life, it can be sum up to only two words - "total failure".
I am having huge difficulties to approach girls, I always feel to be judged. I have a low self-esteem, and I really don't know how to do to overcome such issues.
I've tried to go to the gym, and I've been seen some improvements in my overall life. Well, the gym allowed me to be a little more happier than usually, and also to get in shape. However, it did not get rid of my self-esteem issues..so it is difficult to me to approach girls.
As times passes, I feel sad more and more everyday. Also, it becomes more difficult to me to overcome such problems as I grow up.
Well, maybe I'm one of those persons who will end his life alone and that never lived fully his life.
Please, take your time for reading and try as much as you can to help me out.
Your replies matter a lot for me.
Thank you in advance.
Most Helpful Guy
Just as @StickStickity13 said, you need to learn how to swim first. If you want faster results, you have to start small.
First you have to get out of your head, which I know might not seem easy at first. You have to desensitize to whatever people think of you, girls or not.
To do this you can start by having quick chats with cashiers, waiters, salesmen, mostly working people who often have to be nice as part of their job. Then you keep on doing it, keeping it very light-hearted, simple and rather short, but move on female cashiers, waitresses, etc. Do it ESPECIALLY if you don't find them attractive. You don't have to have complicated conversations, just simple stupid small talk about your town's hockey/football team, the news or whatever small talk. Focus on being positive and light. After a while you'll get a sense that you can do these things with random people.
A few years ago, long before stuff like Simple Pickup, PUA stuff and such were popular, I did challenges with my brother, just for fun. We were both kind of shy. We went and say hi to the most girls possible, without over-thinking, a bit like when you see some homeless people randomly asking change to everyone in the street. Every time we approached a girl/woman, we counted it as a goal, as if it was a football game.
The first approach sounded like "Hey... I huh... huh..." and the girl walked away. The second was more like "Excuse me, you look really cute, and huh... I'd loikk to g.. get to know..." - "Sorry, I'm married"
It went on like this, and by the 7th or 8th girl, my brother and I were just having massive fun, it was so liberating and we didn't give a single fuck anymore.
At some point my brother succeeded in taking a very cute girl's email, but I'm sure he could have had her number with some more courage.
The point of this is not to turn yourself into a "Pickup artist" (unless that's what you want, but only get to the deep understanding that it's not a big deal at all.