Girls, need Suggestions from women about how to deal with my consuming bitterness?

Alright, so I have always been a short man. After two businesses and finishing college I decided to do what is known as bone stretching surgery. Yes, they have that and it is exactly what it sounds like. I went from being 5'7 to 5'11 without shoes. I was also very skinny. I stayed in the gym and worked out relentlessly and am know very muscular and after starting two businesses I know earn over six figures and I have a college degree in business. I am not saying this to boast.

I am saying this because I did all of this to become a better man and now that I have, I have become really shallow and bitter. I guess the insecure part of me is just angry. Women didn't want to date me when i was skinny and short but now it seems every other week I am sleeping with another women, who wants me to commit. As a result I have began seeing women as objects. Since it is completely unfair how a woman can expect me to be tall, muscular, and wealthy but men are getting shamed in the media for expecting them to be skinny, curvy, smart, and other things. I feel constantly judged and I am shamed for judging back.

I have now began expecting women to be almost perfect because if she wants me to be almost six foot then I can expect her to have a huge ass. If she wants me to earn a lot of money, which I do, then I want her to be EXTREMELY sexual. I feel like my bitterness is consuming me and I want it to go away but it is just so hard. When I take women out on dates I NEVER act bitter because if I do then I won't get any ass.

As a result I am now able to hide what my real intentions are. I will normally take her out on six dates- 8 dates, have sex with her and leave, since I can afford it. Ladies please give me your perspective. I want my bitterness to go away.

To recap I am now 5'11, have a degree, earn six figures, and i didn't mention I speak three languages fluently, cook very well, very muscular with a six pack, can draw 3d images (artistic), can sing well, etc


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know it's not an identical situation, but I'm someone who changed my appearance rather radically through weight loss. At my highest, I weighed 265 lbs, and at my lowest, I weighed 140 lbs.

    While I understood that more people would be attracted to me if I lost weight, actually experiencing it was... wow. Men actually paid attention to me, wanted to date or hook up with me. But it wasn't just that---women were nicer to me and wanted to be friends with me, whereas before I had difficulty making friends. Strangers were nicer. Wait staff and sales staff in restaurants and stores were nicer and more helpful to me. Expecting that people would treat me differently didn't prepare me for actually experiencing it.

    And yeah, it's easy to feel bitter about it. I couldn't help but think that the guys that were interested me would have never given me a chance when I was bigger.

    And if you talk about it, a lot of people will say stuff like, "Yeah, but would you want to date a fat man?" (pr3ttybr0wn asked you a similar question). I understand why people ask this, but it feels like they're making the assumption that you're just as shallow as other people. But that question didn't help me at all because, yeah, I would date a fat man.

    I'm thankful that my boyfriend is someone who has been with me while I was fat and while I was thin. If I started dating someone who only knew me when I was thin, I don't think I could help but wonder if they would have given me a chance before I lost weight and assume that they wouldn't. I think I would worry a lot that if I gained weight again (not that I want to, but I've struggled a lot with my weight), they would break up with me.

    I don't really know what the answer is. I don't think it's fair to assume that all women are shallow (plenty of women do date men who aren't rich, aren't tall, aren't muscular)---just like it wouldn't be fair for me to assume that all men are shallow (plenty of men do date overweight women).

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    • But it can be difficult to know who those people are.

      Personally, I don't like shallow people. I don't like people who use or mistreat other people. So, I'm not going to be one of those people, even though I'm more attractive and have more power to do that if I wanted to. I'm not going to be one of the people that I hate, so I'm going to hold myself to a high standard, even if other people don't.

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    • overweight people (say, I read a comment about fat people that someone wrote online that bothers me).

      All these things reaffirm to me that he isn't a shallow, judgmental person.

      It helps too that we were friends for a few years before we got involved with each other, so I knew what kind of person he was, and I knew he wasn't just talking to me because of my appearance.

      I guess what I'm saying is that when someone hits on me, yeah, it goes through my head that he would never have been interested in me before.. but I don't know this guy. We didn't meet when I was overweight, so I have no idea whether or not he would be interested in me when I was thinner. All I can do is, if I'm interested, get to know him and see what kind of person he is.

      I know that's not super helpful. I guess over time I've just accepted the fact that tons of people are really shallow and superficial, and I just keep my eye out for, and surround myself with, people who aren't.

    • something about overweight people*, I meant to say.

What Girls Said 1

  • ok I have a question. you said you went from 5'7 to 5'11. at 5'7 you were not that short to begin with. when you were shorter, did you have the high standards that you do now? were you only after the super hot girls (the ones that you're playing now) or were you open to girls who weren't the finest?

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    • Women who were not attractive because I figured that this is what I had to offer, I would date big women probably in the 250 pounds range. I was still attracted to them but not as much as the prettier ones. But now that I have a lot of leverage, it is much different. I have become so bitter.

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