Can you find a woman so attractive, smart and talented that you run away?

You're basicaly high school drop out who just got his act together in his late 20's. You're attractive, have a hobby but not many friends.

While on the first date:
- You're shaking and nervous
- You comment on how gorgeous she is and her body (so you find her pretty attctive)
- You touch her numerous times
- Want to know about her life in depth, tell her about yours in depth

You discover, not only is she young, confident, fit/attractive, but she's smart and on her way to a Phd. She stylish, dresses classly but is also down to earth. Knows a lot of people, is busy all the time with friends and hobbies etc. She makes good conversation and is more than happy with her life at the moment.

Would you feel completly inadequate? Would this be enough to actually make you dislike her when you liked her so much previously.

At the end, you ask her numerous times if she'd like to go out again, you are nervous going in for a kiss. You message her that evening the next etc. tell her it was an amazing date, tell her again you'd love to see her etc. 2 more days and then switch.


TLDR: Can you put a woman on a pedastal so high that you dislike her becasue you don't feel like you match up?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am almost exactly like you. I have a bachelor's degree and will be working on my master's degree. So I will answer this. Most men will feel intimidated mainly because of traditional definitions of masculinity, which are still very rooted in our thinking. They ARE disappearing but they HAVE NOT FULLY. The question I ask you is would you be alright with dating a man with less education than you, that makes less money in the future, and less fit than you.

    You have to understand that most people in general are not like you. It is rational to expect your men to be on "your level". However, it is not likely you will find a man on that level because the bar is incredibly high. The reason why I asked you those questions above is because if you are like most women you want your man to be exactly like you which is, like I said is RATIONAL. However, since you have set the bar that high since you are an incredibly rare woman, you have reinforced traditional ideologies of masculinity. Therefore you man must feel like he is "traditionally" masculine. This mean he wants to earn more, be more educated, and more fit. This is why he will get intimidated when you are can dethrone him from his provider role. Assuming you reinforce the ideologies of traditional masculinity. Do you?

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    • I want him to be better than me in every way, literally almost unbeatable. My ex had a huge ego, was semi-famous and had the body of a greek god. Our only problem was we were too busy for each other... Hmmm, I think I see some of my deeper problems. I refuse to stop aiming for the top though.

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    • Start with golf clubs. I own a company. So I hope you don't think this answer is a waste of your time. I can tell you most wealthier men will be at golf clubs I know because, I am there golfing with them.

    • I don't want to become a woman who chases a mans money. I pretty much just graduated so I'm not rich/well-off even if my parents are. I would be interested in trying golf though, as a genuine interest not as a man hunt.
      Lol your advice has been the complete opposite of a waste of time. You have been very helpful. thank you :)

What Guys Said 11

  • I am not intimidated by a woman who is extremely smart, beautiful, or one who is happy with a relationship or not. What would intimidated me or make me have reservations about dating her is that she and I would be too busy to have the time to make a relationship work. I am a full time student working on my PhD and I also work full time. Between all of that and dating someone the equivalent of me would be extremely difficult to find time for each other. That would intimidate me more than her qualities.

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  • This: "My ex had a huge ego, was semi-famous and had the body of a greek god" You see many men are intimidated by a beautiful woman ON SIGHT. You don't have to convey anything about your humor or intelligence or success, we know that just from first appearance, a beautiful girl especially can get any guy (including semi famous greek gods), so not only is THAT daunting, but we also know trying to KEEP a girl like you is daunting. I am a late bloomer and sound like this dude. I find more comfort in intelligent, successful women though. I battle with the YOLO crowd and feel out of place there. Honestly I only attract older women, no younger women. Frustrating.

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    • Fair enough, thanks for your input.

  • If she's all that I might have difficulty forming coherent sentences at first but I'll be damned if I let her slip away without a fight.

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  • he sounds unsure of himself and lacks confidence he maybe just a shy awkward guy who does not know how to react and treat a good looking girl but if it was me and i knew she had a bright future ahead of her i would just let her go because i would feel like i was standing in her way but if she really loved me and wanted me still after i broke up with her i would not refuse

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    • That's very possible, I think he just became who he is now and probably isn't used to people like me. Thanks.

  • You can't choose who you love, or who loves you.. Sometimes you just get lucky, other times you get stalked! You are both equals anyway, she just made better choices than you (a common difference between women and men), and is a bit more social because she feels good about herself. If you are envious of her that's one thing, but if you start to resent her.. well now... communicate with her, tell her what on your mind. She will listen.

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  • I am intimidated by truly effectual and skilled women!

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  • no, envy is for losers. and the world isn't a fair place... i'm surprised any man of our age gets intimidated by this.

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  • maybe he sensed your huge ego and ran away

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    • Possibly, but i'm good a feigning modesty ;). I might have a bit of an ego, but only to the extent that I know what I have and I know who I am.

    • so you could take a harsh criticism
      maybe you are that awesome lol
      anyway quiet possible for the guy to feel intimidated

  • She should date someone, who is in her class.

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    • Could you expand a little?

  • I suppose it's possible.

    Do you actually want him though? (Why?) Surely you could find someone better educate, more attractive, more intelligent and less nervous and so on.

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    • I'm not fussed about him at all, i'm used to guys being at least a bit intimidated but after a bit they chill. This guy clearly freaked so I was curious. Also I don't usually get men wrong haha.
      I know there is better, but hey better is uncommon, would like to play a bit before I find someone worth taking seriously.

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    • @Anon Precisely.

    • @ranma187 I understand, and thank you for your input. I wonder if I have considered his world, that is an interesting perspective.

  • such a mismatch, there's no chance of it working.

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