How do I turn down a date with an older guy (30 years older) without hurting his feelings?

Today I was asked out on a date by a 65 year old guy. That's 30 years older than me and WAY over my dating age range. How do I let him down nicely without hurting his feelings?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well Sarah, if you and I blink, we might find ourselves to be his age like it was yesterday. Damn that is going to suck. Damn, damn, damn.

    I guess turn him down the same way you would like to be turned down when you are 65. I'd just say no thanks and try not to really mention the age thing.

    I kind of liked Harold & Maude, even when I was younger. It was a cool flick. I could do something morbid like that, LOL. Maybe he was just testing if you felt the same? Well, obviously you don't. But I think the thing is here he shouldn't be chastized for trying, because some might actually say yes.

    So tell him no, but thanks.

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    • Harold and Maude... Wow! That takes me back.

    • Did you ever get around to turning that guy down? How did he take it?

    • Yes. I did. I was polite about it. He seemed to take it okay though.

What Guys Said 15

  • While there are a lot of different ways to approach this, I would recommend honesty. I say this because I try to imagine if I were in a situation where the situation were reversed and a much older lady asked me out on a date. If I was not interested I would just try to be both gentle and honest, in that while I'm flattered, I'm afraid I'm not interested, and if she isn't too hurt by this, we could be friends if she would like. I say this because I don't believe anybody likes the thought of rejection, I know I don't, so in this spirit I would want to be let down as nicely as possible.

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  • Same way you turn down a guy any age - If you make it a thing to avoid mentioning age gap, he'll know it is about that then.

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  • "I'll give you a heart attack, old man."

    Seriously, though, just say something bland like, "I'm not really looking to date at the moment".

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  • Finding a way to reject someone without hurting their feelings is like trying to find the Northwest Passage. It doesn't exist. It never existed. He's going to be hurt, but if he's mature, he'll be hurt and move on. Since it can't be done painlessly, it's best to do it quickly.

    Why not try, "I'm sorry, but I just don't see you that way."

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  • If he's that age he she be used to rejection from the opposite sex lol. Just be quick and direct and tell him "I'm flattered but im not interested". The tone and body language says alot'. Don't sound disgusted or awkward.

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  • "Look, I know you like me, and this is crazy, but im not interested, b/c you'll die soon maybe?"

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  • Suggest that he dates your mother.

    He's 65. He should have some big boy pants hanging in his closet. he can take it.

    Laugh it off. Pretend you thought he was joking.

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    • Makes me feel super awkward. Lol

    • Lol I totally I agree. If he doesn't have any big boy pants hanging in his closet, they're probably in the hamper waiting for a wash

  • just say thanks but no thanks and leave it at that

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  • I don't know i guess just say you dont have time date now. But like dang old dude has game!

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  • ' You might not finish the date alive '

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    • Lol. I can't say that. He may think I'm interested in doing something sexually with him if I say that. Lol

  • Shut him down! Like be as cruel as you can, he is a man, he can take it.
    No need to be soft with him

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  • Why not give him a shot?

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  • Say, "Puh-leeze, grandpa. I mean, when's the last time you even got it up?"

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  • No. He old enough to be your dad. Its like if I asked you out... you old enough to be my mom

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  • tell him you're dating me and he'll back down

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What Girls Said 6

  • The best thing to do, SarahP, is politely tell him that you are Interested in someone else but thank you so much, I'm flattered.
    It's also best to not bat an eyelash nor speak too softly because any movement could Speak Volumes to this not so shy guy and he will get the wrong idea, which is perhaps why you are finding yourself... Letting him down easy.
    Good luck. xx

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  • "I know you're a great guy and you deserve a great girl and nothing less but I Know i'm not the one for you. I wish you all the best in life"

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  • If I were in your position, I would probably go with something like this:

    I'm really flattered by your interest, but I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with the age difference.

    I think that's a pretty nice response, and you'd still be being honest with him.

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    • I'm still shocked he asked out someone young enough to be his daughter. :o

  • "No thank you :)"
    ?

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    • I just don't want to make him feel bad.
      Maybe I can find a single friend and offer her up instead. Lol

  • "I don't think this dating thing will work out. It's not you, it's me... but it's mostly you."

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    • Lol lol lol. I wish I had to guts to say these things.

  • Aww D: I would tell him that he seems like a nice guy but your just not intrested

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